


Gone

by idkspookystuff



Series: Gone 'Verse [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Mild Angst, Pining, Strangers to Lovers, lovers to strangers to lovers, or really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-19 11:59:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7360585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When happy boyfriends Sebastian Smythe and Blaine Anderson both end up getting hurt in an accident, Blaine loses all memory of Sebastian. Doctors say it's a lost cause, but Sebastian will use any means possible to get those memories back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my writing project for camp nanowrimo 2016! I really hope you appreciate it and fall in love with it just like I have. 
> 
> I hope you like my decision to post it as chapters instead of just as a giant oneshot. Chapters will be posted as they are written and warning will be added as needed so please watch that section. However, I doubt any crazy new warnings will be added. 
> 
> Enjoy!  
> -Sebastian. (yes that is my actual name.)

“Sebastian?!”

_“This is awfully romantic for you, Bas.”_

“Stay with us, Mr. Smythe.”

_“They call me the master of romance, B.”_

“Sebastian? Sebastian, hey, it’s mom.”

_A laugh. “So does this have any purpose?”_

“Come on, Sebby, stay with me.”

_“Actually, yes. B, I know I don’t show it a lot, but you mean a lot to me and I just wanted to say-”_

“Damn it, we’re losing him.”

_“Sebastian, watch out!”_

“Sebastian!”

-

Light was the first thing to penetrate the darkness that seemed to have engulfed Sebastian’s entire body as he lay in bed, the black gradually becoming lighter. The next was sound, the occasionally beep from a heart monitor next to him. With a rush, the rest of his senses came back to him. He could hear cars on the highway, the sound of birds chirping, his mother speaking softly with another voice he didn’t recognize. He flexed his fingers, which felt tired and lifeless next to his sides and, with a large gulp of air that resembled a gasp, blinked open his eyes.

The first thing he noticed was that he was in a hospital bed. Wires stuck to his chest, leading to the heart monitor that was slowly beeping. There was a wire in his arm that led to another bag filled with some kind of clear fluid. A wire under his nose was supplying him with oxygen. He tilted his head and saw his mother standing in the doorway, her left hand anxiously grabbing at her right elbow through a sweater as she talked softly to a man in a lab coat with a clipboard: a doctor.

Sebastian’s mother turned with a soft gasp to look at her son. “Sebby,” she said softly, crossing the room to be at his bedside. She kneeled beside him and grasped one of his hands in between both of her own. Her hands were cold, but Sebastian took comfort in the contact. “Seb, are you alright? How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright,” Sebastian answered after a second. There was a pounding in his head, a whooshing like the sound of the ocean. He looked towards the window at the highway next to the hospital, watched as cars drove through it and as planes flew above. He looked back at his mother, worry evident on her face. He put a hand weakly to her cheek and smiled at her. “Really, _maman_. I’m alright.”

The doctor walked towards the two of them. He checked the monitors above Sebastian’s head and wrote things down on his clipboard before sitting on the end of Sebastian’s bed. “So,” he started, putting a hand just underneath Sebastian’s knee. “Do you remember anything about the accident, Mr Smythe?”

Sebastian closed his eyes and tried to remember. “I was on a beach,” he started. In his mind, the sea was making soft sounds, the birds were chirping above his head. He was smiling. “I was happy.” In his mind’s eye, a hand reached out towards his. “I was with-” he paused, his eyes scrunching shut as he tried to remember who he was with. “I was with-” In a rush, it came back to him. Hair slicked back, bright brown eye staring back into his, a wrist with a watch pulled carefully over his button-up, a blue bowtie that only he could pull off. “Blaine,” he said softly.

Sebastian opened his eyes again and between his mother and the doctor. His mother seemed heartbroken and the doctor looked over at his mother with the same kind of sympathy in his eyes as she had given Sebastian just moments before. “Where’s Blaine? Is he okay?” Sebastian asked quickly.

“Oh Sebby,” Sebastian’s mother whispered softly. She took Sebastian’s hands in her own again and held them close to her chest. “ _Mon bébé_.” She closed her eyes and brought Sebastian’s hands to her lips. “I had hoped that maybe you wouldn’t remember either.”

“Remember what?” Sebastian asked, dumbfounded. He looked back at the doctor, who looked at him with a look of pity that Sebastian hated. Pity was for when he first came to the states and told teachers his English wasn’t very good. Pity was for when people found out that he didn’t have a father because the asshole walked out on them. Pity was not something Sebastian wanted to associate with news of Blaine. “Where’s Blaine?”

Almost as if on cue, Blaine walked through the door. He was a little beat up, but in a better shape than Sebastian. He had on a Dalton sweatshirt, no bowtie in sight. He smiled politely when he caught Sebastian’s eye. “Oh, good, you’re awake.” He walked into the room and took a seat by Sebastian’s bed. “Listen, I just wanted to say thank you,” he smiled towards the doctor with more familiarity in his eye than when he looked at Sebastian. “Dr. Matthews said that you saved my life and,” he laughed nervously, something Sebastian knew Blaine did when he was in an unfamiliar situation. “Dunno. I like being alive. Thank you, I guess.”

“Blaine,” Sebastian said softly. He reached out for Blaine’s hand, only to watch Blaine reflexively pull back. He looked Blaine over, confused, eyebrows knit together. 

“ _ Ange _ ,” Sebastian’s mother said quickly, grabbing both of Sebastian’s hands. “Blaine hit his head really hard on the rock, Sebby. He’s-” she paused and looked towards the doctor. 

The doctor looked between Blaine and Sebastian before giving Sebastian a look of that god awful pity. “We’re afraid the accident has given Mr. Anderson retrograde amnesia.”

Sebastian tried to process the words, but it seemed that a year of advanced placement biology had escaped him in a minute. “Well what the fuck does that mean?” 

Sebastian saw his mother flinch in the corner of his eye. The doctor sighed and looked at Sebastian’s mother before replying. “Blaine can’t remember anything before the accident. Including you.” 

Sebastian felt like he had been pulled under the ocean. Everything was blurry in that moment and his head was spinning. In a panic, he whipped his head to look at Blaine. He prayed that it wasn't true, that maybe there was some way that he was the only thing that Blaine remembered. Instead, Blaine was smiling at him, that stupid polite smile. Through his rushing head,, Sebastian could hear Blaine ask, “I’m sorry, did we know each other?” 

Sebastian looked between his mother and the doctor, both of whom were looking at him with looks of sympathy and pity that Sebastian hated so much. He felt his mother squeeze his hand gently. Sebastian took a deep breath. “No,” he answered Blaine. “No. I just-” he gestured towards Blaine’s sweatshirt. “I go to Dalton too.” From up close, Sebastian could see how big the sweatshirt was on Blaine. Tears welled in his eyes as he realized it was his. He blinked the tears away before Blaine could notice. 

“Oh, okay!” Blaine nodded quickly. He stood and smiled at Sebastian. “I’ll see you at school on Monday?” he asked hopefully. Sebastian shot him a fake smile back and nodded. “Cool. Thank you, Dr. Matthews. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Smythe.” With that, Blaine turned on his heels and left the room. 


	2. ii.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and leaving kudos on chapter one! I hope you like this chapter. It's a little bit shorter but it's full of plot, including some Blaine/Sebastian interaction!

“So he didn’t remember you at all?” Hunter asked. Sebastian lay in his bed in his dorm room, glaring sideways at Hunter. Hunter had barely let him in the doorway before asking him what had happened, and now that Sebastian had told him, it seemed unlikely that Hunter would ever shut up about it. “Like, not at all?” 

“Nope,” Sebastian answered. He looked up towards the ceiling and threw an arm over his eyes. “I told you, dude, it was like he had never even seen me before.” 

“God damn, that’s insane,” Hunter answered. Sebastian rolled his eyes behind his arm as if to say  _ ‘tell me about it’ _ . He felt his bed tilt and moved his arm to look at Hunter, who was sitting on the edge of Sebastian’s bed with a shit-eating grin.

“What the fuck are you smiling about, Clarington?” Sebastian asked coldly. 

Hunter’s smile didn’t falter as he answered. “Guess you don’t have a magical penis after all, huh, Smythe?” 

Sebastian glared at Hunter before rubbing his eyes, tired with a lack of sleep and the stress of the whole situation. He was starting to get dark circles and that wasn’t a good look for anyone. “The fuck are you on?” He murmured. 

“There’s never been a one-night stand who’s forgotten Sebastian Smythe,” Hunter recited in a piss-poor imitation of his best friend. “You know, never thought it’d be Blaine to break the chain.” Sebastian’s glaring didn’t seem to faze Hunter as he went on in an imitation of Blaine, “Oh,  _ Bas _ , right there, so big, yes, please,  _ god _ !”

Sebastian laughed despite himself and kicked Hunter off his bed. “I hate you so much. You know that, right?” 

“It’s the first line of my Tinder,” Hunter answered. “Hi, I’m Hunter Clarington, widely hated by Sebastian Smythe.” Sebastian laughed again and rolled his eyes fondly. “But seriously. They said there was no way Blaine would ever get his memory back?” Sebastian shook his head, his smile dropping. “Seb, I’m disappointed in you.” 

“Why’s that?” Sebastian asked. 

“I never knew you as one to take no for an answer,” Hunter answered. 

-

The campus of Dalton was chilly in the late fall afternoon. It was a welcomed chill and many students walked between classes outside. Sebastian walked along with two cups of coffee, one in either hand as he searched for Blaine. Eventually he found him, dressed in a red sweater with a proud Dalton logo, knitted scarf tied around his neck, no bowtie in sight. It seemed that he had let his hair go without any product, sitting wild and messy on top of his head. 

“Blaine,” Sebastian called casually. He smirked at Blaine when the student turned around, books held close to his heart under his left arm. Sebastian approached him cool and leisurely, holding out a cup for him. “Got you a pumpkin spice latte. Little birdy told me they were your favorite.” 

Blaine took the coffee with a dumbfounded smile. “This is so sweet,” he said after a second. He shook his head with the same smile and chuckled lightly as his gaze fell to the floor. “Thank you. How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing.” Blaine looked back up at Sebastian with a confused expression. Sebastian smiled back down at him as he casually placed his hands in his back pockets to make his blazer look tighter. No one ever doubted Sebastian Smythe’s seduction skills. “Consider it a treat for being alive.”

Blaine laughed again and looked back towards the floor. “Well, thank you. I really do appreciate it.” Blaine started walking towards his next class and Sebastian stepped next to him. “I’m Blaine Anderson, by the way. I don’t think we’ve ever formally been introduced.” 

Sebastian took the hand that Blaine stretched out towards him and shook it. “Sebastian Smythe.” 

Blaine dropped Sebastian’s hand and smiled politely at him. “Are you a freshman?” 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow and gave Blaine a dangerous smile. “Do I look like a freshman?” Blaine turned a bright red and spluttered for a minute before shaking his head with a chuckle and looking towards the floor. Sebastian gave a light chuckle in reply. “I’m not. I’m a junior.”

“Oh!” Blaine said with a sudden piqued interest. He lifted his head to smile at Sebastian. “So am I!” Sebastian bit his tongue to refrain from telling Blaine that he already knew. The pair stopped outside of a door, other students walking in. Some smiled at Blaine and some gave him wishes for recovery. Blaine smiled politely at all of them.

Sebastian turned to walk away when Blaine called after him. “Sebastian!” Sebastian turned to look at Blaine, who stood a tad awkwardly against the door, picking at the end of one of his notebooks. “You’re coming to Warbler practice later, right? Jeff told me you’re in it.” 

Sebastian made a mental note to tell Jeff Sullivan to lay off of Blaine. “Yeah, I am.” 

“Cool.” Blaine smiled at Sebastian and waited, almost like he had something else to say, before walking into the room, leaving only crunched leaves under his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me [on tumblr](http://www.theaterkidlester.tumblr.com)!


	3. iii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Warblers have a meeting wherein Sebastian learns something interesting, to say the least, about Blaine's new friendship with Kurt. Afterwards, he asks Santana and Brittany for advice and relives how Blaine lost his memory in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi babes! thank you all so much for your support for the first two chapters. i really am in love with this chapter and it's my favorite so far! i hope you like the little flashback and all. as always, feel free to leave your opinion in the comments! ty for your support!   
> xx

“Sebastian Smythe,” was the first thing Sebastian heard as he walked into the Warbler chamber at the designated Warbler practice time. All the other guys were grouped together, talking softly. However, all conversations stopped as they laid eyes on Sebastian. Blaine was nowhere to be found. 

Suddenly, the source of the voice and many of Sebastian’s worst dreams, Kurt Hummel, stepped forward from the crowd. “You know, someone told me you died,” Kurt wiped a fake tear from his eye. “I knew it was too good to be true.”

“Kurt Hummel,” Sebastian tried to sound enthusiastic as he folded his arms over his chest and smirked at his adversary. “Someone told me you hit boy puberty!” He continued as if talking to an adolescent boy. “Damn, I knew it was too good to be true.” 

A loud exclamation came from the group of students behind the two of them as Sebastian and Kurt glared at each other. Kurt was using his patented bitch face number five and Sebastian just smirked back.

“Alright, alright,” Skylar called from the group as he stood in between them. “Let’s take a seat.” Kurt gave Sebastian one last bitch glare before sitting down. Sebastian rolled his eyes and took a seat next to Hunter on the other side of the room. “Now, as honorary captain until Blaine heals enough to take his spot back,” Sebastian rolled his eyes and wondered who had to die to make Skylar king. “I think it’s only right that we wait for Blaine to show before we start the meeting.” 

With perfect timing as always, Blaine came into the room, same red sweater and knit scarf around his neck. “Hi,” he greeted the room. “I’m sorry I’m late.” 

“That’s fine,” Skylar answered. Sebastian rolled his eyes. It seemed everyone in the Warblers was head over heels for Blaine. “You can take a seat wherever you’d like.” 

Sebastian smirked back at Hunter and motioned with his head to the empty seat next to him, sure that was where Blaine was going to sit. Hunter rolled his eyes and the two of them turned to Blaine. They watched as he took his scarf off and crossed the room, sitting right next to Kurt with a soft, “Hi, Kurt.” Kurt smiled back at him and took his hand before turning back to Skylar, who was going on about their weekly agenda and having a setlist that would finally beat out New Directions. Kurt turned to Sebastian when Blaine wasn’t watching and shot him a look that definitely said, ‘ _ I won _ .’ 

Sebastian felt his blood boil with rage as he watched Blaine lean into Kurt’s side. He pushed himself from the chair with the full intent of punching Kurt Hummel in the face solely to show him who was in charge when he felt Hunter’s hand on his shoulder. “It’s not worth being kicked out of the Warblers, dude,” Hunter whispered to him. 

Sebastian sat back down. He knew Hunter was right. The worst part of being in the Warblers was the fact that you were meant to be the cream of the crop at Dalton. However, this didn’t stop Sebastian from glaring at Kurt all through their new routine to destroy New Directions just because he could. 

-

“Sebastian Smythe,” came the fast paced voice of Rachel Berry over the phone as Sebastian lay in his dorm room. He had been casually scrolling through his Twitter when the phone rang, his ringtone alerting him with a groan that it was a member of new directions and a contact name entitled  _ ‘Rachel’ _ with a sarcastic star and a gagging face emoji next to it to alert him that it was his least favorite, by far.

“Rachel Berry,” Sebastian chanted back with a high-pitched imitation of Rachel. 

He could practically hear her eye roll as she huffed. “I would have you know that you happen to be the person I wish to talk to least in the Warblers.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. Like talking to Rachel Berry was such a pleasure. “Dutifully noted. Likewise, by the way.” 

Sebastian could almost see Rachel’s face turn red as she continued to speak. “However, in our current situation I feel as though you are the person with the most,” she paused, as if looking for the right word. “Insight on the matter. Wisdom, so to speak. Influence.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes again. “Listen, Berry, could you just shut the dictionary and tell me what you’re talking about? Because frankly, your voice gives me a headache.” 

Rachel huffed over the line. “Please keep Blaine away from Kurt. I have no idea what kind of sick joke this is but Kurt is a fragile, beautiful member of the LGBT community and he doesn’t need to be poisoned by the likes of you. Blaine is lovely but I know Blaine and I know that Blaine is associated with you.” She paused, for dramatic effect, Sebastian was sure. “I’ve seen the twitpics, Sebastian. I know.” 

“Trust me, Rachel, Kurt is the last person I wanted Blaine to be associated with,” Sebastian answered, scoffing just at the very mention of Kurt Hummel and his legion of surprisingly loyal New Directions members. 

A pause from Rachel. “Wait, really? This isn’t a scheme to get to our setlist or something?” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. New Directions members were more superstitious than the entire cast of How to Get Away with Murder. “No, this isn’t a ploy to get into your precious little glee club.” He paused, but then he couldn’t help himself. “By the way, our setlist is much better.”

Another scoff. “As  _ if. _ ” 

“Anyway, it’s not like I have control over Blaine’s actions. First of all, he’s not my slave unless it’s consensual,” he paused just to hear Rachel’s soft ‘ _ ew’.  _ “And second of all, he hit his head and has amnesia now. Can’t remember a thing.” 

“Oh.” Rachel paused again. “So you and Blaine are,” she trailed off again, as if looking for help from Sebastian. The Warbler just remained quiet. “No longer in a relationship?” 

Sebastian took a second because this was the first time he had heard it said out loud. Sure, somewhere in his mind he’d known it, but now that it was out in the open it was surrounding him like the ocean waves. “No,” he said finally. “Blaine and I are no longer in a relationship. 

Another soft, “oh,” came from Rachel’s end. “Well, I would like to offer my sincerest condolences. However, I’d still like to keep him away from Kurt.” 

“Rachel Berry, I never thought I’d agree with you on anything.” 

-

“A fragile member of the LGBT community?” Santana huffed out a laugh as Lord Tubbington crossed over her lap. Sebastian, Santana and Brittany sat in Brittany’s violently floral bedroom. “I think Berry must be smoking some kind of good crack to come up with something like that.” Sebastian rolled his eyes in regards to his and Rachel’s conversation regarding her best friend and his apparent fragileness. 

“Wait,” Brittany drawled. Both Santana and Sebastian turned to look at her. “How can Blaine not remember, like, anything? I forget moves Mr. Shue makes us do sometimes but I never forget San.” Santana smiled at Brittany before she continued. “Well, like sometimes I do but it’s very brief.”

Santana laughed softly. “Come here, you adorable idiot,” she said as she pulled Brittany into an admittedly sweet hug. She turned to Sebastian afterwards. “Britt does make a point. How the hell did Blaine get amnesia?” 

Sebastian shifted in his chair, his blazer falling over his shoulders. “It’s a long story,” he answered.

Santana shrugged. “We’ve got time.” 

-

_ The wind from the ocean came over as a gentle breeze as Sebastian pulled Blaine onto the beach. Blaine, hair gelled back against his head, sweater vest over a button up shirt, laughed as he allowed himself to be dragged across the beach. “Bas,” he laughed. “Sebastian, it’s freezing!”  _

_ Admittedly, fall was not the best time for what Sebastian had planned, but planned he had. He had been working this out for at least a solid two weeks now, had ran it past Santana and Hunter so many times that they could probably recite his speech better than he could. It had to be now. Next summer they would be looking for colleges and commitments outside of each other and- Sebastian didn’t like to think about what happened once Blaine left Lima and went to a city crawling with talented, attractive gay men. No, it absolutely had to be now.  _

_ Sebastian was going to tell Blaine that he loved him. It was cheesy, yes, and not something that playboy bunny and former bachelor Sebastian Smythe was known for (unless it was going to get him laid) but he did. He loved Blaine more than he had ever loved anything, including Dalton and the Warblers and the car his parents bought him for his sixteenth birthday. Being with Blaine made him feel like one of those poems that he was forced to read in freshman English with a teacher who was way underpaid and probably hadn’t gotten laid in at least seven years, and Blaine had to know. It was unfair to make Blaine think that it was one sided when it wasn’t.  _

_ Sebastian knew that Blaine loved him. He hated to sound cocky, but it was kind of obvious in the way Blaine held himself around Sebastian, how he talked about him to his friends, how his eyes lit up whenever he dragged Sebastian to one of his parent’s rich person events and introduced him as “Sebastian Smythe, my boyfriend” or when Sebastian’s parents forced him to bring a date to one of their events and he introduced Blaine to his homophobic grandmother as “my boyfriend, Blaine Anderson.” The thing about Blaine was that he was too polite for his own good. He would never force the L word on Sebastian, especially since he knew Sebastian had a thing against commitment. Which left this up to Sebastian. Blaine deserved this. He deserved his fairytale ending, dammit. _

_ “I just thought I would take you to the ocean,” Sebastian lied as he pulled Blaine close to the waves. He stopped right where the tide ended, the waves just barely passing over their shoes. Sebastian was aware that this would ruin his very expensive sneakers, but in that moment he didn’t care. _

_ Blaine laughed again and Sebastian felt indestructible. “This is awfully romantic for you, Bas.”  _

_ Sebastian smiled at that. It was a well known fact amongst everyone who knew the couple that Blaine was the romantic of the two of them. “They call me the master of romance, B.”  _

_ Blaine just laughed again as he shook his head, dropping it to look at the grains of sand under their feet. Blaine’s laugh was something that Sebastian would be fine with hearing until the day he died. “So does this have any purpose?”  _

_ Sebastian took a deep breath. “Actually, yes.” He took both of Blaine’s hands into his. Blaine looked back up at him with a sudden piqued interest. It was very seldom that Sebastian was serious about something. “B, I know I don’t show it a lot, but you mean a lot to me.” Blaine’s cheeks turned a dark shade of red as Sebastian continued to talk. “And I just wanted to say-”  _

_ Suddenly, Blaine gasped. A sudden large wave was rapidly approaching them. Sebastian looked towards it and then back at Blaine, who looked glued to the floor in paralyzed fear. Sebastian pushed him back as far as he could but was suddenly swept under the wave.  _

_ “Sebastian, watch out!” Blaine called, diving under to meet Sebastian. Sebastian tried to swim against the current, but found it was suddenly very difficult to move. Blaine swam towards him with a look of panic on his face as they were quickly swept under. His hand reached out for Sebastian’s to pull him up as the wave pulled them both into a cliff, slamming them against it. _

_ - _

“And that’s where it gets fuzzy,” Sebastian concluded. Santana looked a mixture of shocked and concerned. Brittany just looked a bit confused as she continued to pet Lord Tubbington. He would bet money that she had spent most of their conversation hearing the voice of her cat.

“That sounds like a fucking Nicholas Sparks novel,” Santana commented after a minute. Sebastian nodded as he dropped his head to look back at his feet. “So what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean what am I going to do?” Sebastian asked, the narcissist in him coming out. “He has a thing for Hummel. It’s over. I lost him.” Santana laughed and Sebastian looked back up at her. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Santana answered. “It’s just,” she chuckled again. “When have you ever let Kurt Hummel have something you wanted?”

 


	4. iv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine asks Sebastian for help with choreography and things get a little heated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi dawls  
> thank you all so much for your support for the first few chapters. i hope you all love this one. i honestly had so much fun writing the exchanges between blaine and sebastian and i hope you love their chemistry as much as i do.  
> mwah!  
> seb

Sebastian was laying in bed that night, scrolling aimlessly through Twitter. For his own good and not to overwhelm him, Blaine’s parents had taken away all forms of social media that could accidentally lead him to discovering something about his life prior to the accident. Upon hearing about this, Sebastian was pretty sure they meant him, but whatever, he understood. 

However, this didn’t stop people from tagging Blaine in tweets. Specifically Kurt Hummel, who tweeted a picture with the caption ‘magical night with @blaineanderson!” followed immediately by a star emoji. The picture was of the two of them at some Disney movie, Blaine hanging off Kurt’s hip with a large smile on his face. Kurt had an equally big smile with an arm wrapped around Blaine’s waist. Sebastian could swear Kurt was glaring at him through the picture.  _ Ugh _ . 

Suddenly, Sebastian’s phone notified him of a text from ‘Blainey’ followed by three hearts. He smiled sadly at it. It was the contact Blaine had set for himself in Sebastian’s phone after deciding that he wanted to be a disgusting couple. Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to change it.

_ Blaine 10:18pm _ _  
_ _ Hi! This is Sebastian Smythe?  _

Sebastian smiled sadly at the text. He was sure his parents had changed his contact name in Blaine’s phone from ‘Bas’ followed by the fist emoji and the ‘water’ emoji. He almost wondered what it was now.

_ Sebastian 10:19pm _ _  
_ _ uh oh you caught me. don’t leak my number to the press :p xx  _

The reply came soon afterwards. Sebastian chuckled softly at Blaine’s apparent eagerness.

_ Blaine 10:19pm _ _  
_ _ LOL no way _

_ Blaine 10:20pm _ _  
_ _ So I was wondering if you could help me relearn Warblers choreo? If I don’t get it Skylar will kill me. _

Sebastian was about to say no. He had lacrosse practice and tons of AP work to make up from the accident. But he could almost see it, Kurt Hummel teaching Blaine to dance instead, hips swaying and eyes locked. He had a momentary mental image of lips locked together, touching over clothes, under clothes, hands travelling south. He shook his head to get the image out of his head.

_ Sebastian 10:22pm _ _  
_ _ yeah ofc. i’’ll see you tomorrow after lacrosse _

-

“Thank you for helping me to relearn this choreography, Sebastian,” Blaine spoke as soon as Sebastian entered the Warbler commons. He was a bit sweaty from lacrosse practice, but he felt in this case it probably played to his advantage. He was currently dressed only in a loose pair of basketball shorts and a tight fitting sports shirt. He was sure he saw Blaine’s eyes look over his body when he thought Sebastian wasn’t looking. “I would have asked Kurt but then Skylar told me you’re the one who choreographs the Warblers and I thought, hey, why not learn from the professional?”

Sebastian had never been more thankful for his parents’ instance on giving him dance lessons as a child or for Skylar’s general inability to dance. “Naturally,” Sebastian commented. He crossed the room to get his phone from his gym back, left precariously on the floor. “Besides,” he looked up at Blaine with a smirk. “Hummel can’t dance like I can.” 

Blaine blushed at Sebastian’s words and ducked his head to the floor. Feeling quite victorious, Sebastian returned to his phone, looking through his music library for the song Blaine had asked him to rehearse in a series of texts the night before. “I’m not one to make snap judgements about people.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Trust me,” he said as he found the song and pressed play. “It’s not a snap judgement.” He crossed the room to be behind Blaine. He let his eyes fall to Blaine’s neck and held back the urge to bite the skin there. “Posture,” he corrected, his voice suddenly rougher. 

Blaine swallowed hard and immediately stood up straight. Sebastian smirked at Blaine’s submissiveness. God, how he’d missed it. “So,” Blaine cleared his throat after his voice came out slightly too high. “What is it between you two anyway?” 

Sebastian decided to momentarily dodge the question as he instructed, “step, touch.” He watched as Blaine followed his instructions, though he was stiff instead of the usual fluidity he usually showed in Warbler choreography. “Keep doing that.” Sebastian watched Blaine for a minute before commenting on his question. “What’s the deal between me and who?”

“You and Kurt,” Blaine answered. Sebastian rolled his eyes at the mention of Kurt. Thankfully, Blaine couldn’t see as he continued with the simple move. “He seems to hate you and based on the tone of your voice, I know you hate him. So what’s the deal?” 

Answering, ‘ _ he was always going after you before your accident and now that he actually kind of has you I’m scared shitless _ ,” didn’t seem like such a bad idea. “I don’t hate him,” Sebastian lied after a while. “We’re just polar opposites. He’s all flamboyantly gay and I’m-” 

“Straight?” Blaine supplied. 

Sebastian scoffed at the idea of Blaine Anderson asking him if he was straight. If only he could show Blaine all the videos he had in a file that was password locked on his laptop. “Killer, I’m anything but.” He sighed as he watched Blaine. “See, your problem is that you’re so stiff. Relax, it’s just me.” He put a hand to Blaine’s hip and felt Blaine shudder under his hand.  _ God _ , this was something he’d missed so much. He moved his right hand to mimic his left. “Loosen your hips. Don’t think of it as a dance.” 

Blaine took in a sharp inhale of breath. “What should I think of it as?” he asked softly.

Sebastian leaned in closer to whisper. “Sex.” He heard Blaine gasp again and from his position behind Blaine he could see the Warbler’s cheeks turn red. “Do you remember having sex?” It was a minute before Blaine nodded meekly. Sebastian smirked and tilted his head in confusion. “Really? What do you remember?” 

Blaine dropped his head to the floor as a shy smile spread over his face. “I don’t remember his name and I couldn’t see his face,” he said softly. “I feel kind of bad about it. It came to me in a dream but when I woke up, I knew. I knew he had to be real.” He turned to smile shyly at Sebastian. “I don’t remember much but I remember how we moved. I remember how we touched. I remember it was-” he laughed nervously and dropped his head to the floor. “Hot.” 

“Well then,” Sebastian said with a breathy laugh. “Move like that.” He watched as Blaine took his advice to heart, the simple show choir staple suddenly ringing with a certain sexual tension. 

And that’s exactly when Hunter decided to walk into the Warbler commons, lacrosse uniform still on and sticking to his skin with sweat, something that was somehow not sexual at all on him. “Hey guys,” he said with a smile. He looked between Blaine and Sebastian, red and breathtaken. Blaine was wide eyed like he’d recently been devirginized and Sebastian was just smiling like a teenage boy who’d gotten laid for the first time. “Good choreo session?”


	5. v.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel comes to Sebastian's house with a problem. Then, a meeting at Lima Bean leads to a very interesting turn of events from the Blaine and Kurt front and a proposition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all!  
> I really have nothing much to say other than thank you for your continued support and I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> xx  
> -Seb  
> p.s. The scene in Lima Bean is referenced off of 3.5 the first time!

Sebastian was trying to do work for his AP biology course when there was a rapid succession of knocks at the door. He sighed and pushed his books to the side. He looked in the mirror his parents placed in the doorway for quick checks before going to _ yet another _ cocktail mixer. He fixed his hair a little and straightened his shirt before opening the door, only to be met by Rachel Berry, dressed in a floor length coat complete with a scarf around her neck and a knitted hat. “Sebastian.” 

“Ugh,” Sebastian said in reply. He moved to the side to let Rachel through anyway. “I did my hair for you, Rachel Berry. You better have a very good excuse.” 

“Oh, trust me,” Rachel said as she hung her scarf and then her coat on the coat rack by the door. Sebastian took a seat on a sofa in his parents’ rather lavish living room and motioned for Rachel to join him. He rolled his eyes as she cautiously sat, her feet crossing at the ankle. 

“It’s a very good reason.” Sebastian’s silence prompted her to continue. “I was speaking with Kurt earlier-” Sebastian groaned at the mention of Kurt Hummel and Rachel held up a hand to silence him. “Please, if you would dispend your childish and admirably fierce hatred for each other for just a moment.” She cleared her throat before continuing. “As I was saying. I was speaking with Kurt earlier and he expressed an interest in asking Blaine on a date.”

The growl ripped through Sebastian’s throat before he could stop it. Rachel put a hand to her chest, obviously taken aback. “Who the fuck does he think he is? Blaine’s mine and everyone knows it.” 

“Except for Blaine,” Rachel pointed out. Her words were a punch to the gut for Sebastian, who silenced rather suddenly, sitting back against the sofa. He wondered how badly his parents would kill him if he spilled red wine on their white sofas. Drinking solely to pass out suddenly didn’t seem like the worst decision. “Now, I think you understand our predicament.” Sebastian rolled his eyes at what was possibly the biggest understatement of the year. “So what are you going to do?”  

Sebastian sat thinking for a minute before his eyes lit up. “Rachel Berry, lovely to talk to you. Actual, that’s a total fucking lie. It was probably the worst time of my life and I’ll forever regret those three minutes at age seventeen that I wasted talking to you about Blaine. Goodbye.” 

Rachel stood suddenly and grabbed her coat and jacket. Sebastian followed her, arms crossed over his chest but a smile that said he was up to something. “But you have a plan, right?” Rachel asked as Sebastian rushed her out. “I mean, you are going to do something, aren’t you?” 

“Have a plan?” Sebastian scoffed. “Do I ever.”

-

Blaine laughed softly as Sebastian brought him around to what had become his habitual seat in the Lima Bean. Originally, it was the best spot to over any guy who happened to walk in and peak Sebastian’s interest a cup of coffee. In his post-bachelor days, the perk ended up being that it was right in Kurt’s line of vision when he would walk in for his daily cup of coffee, where he would see Sebastian and Blaine laughing or talking or kissing. It seemed almost right for them to sit there. It would be wrong to sit anywhere else. 

Which brought Sebastian back to Blaine’s laugh. “I can’t believe you asked for a shot of cavasier in your coffee.” 

Sebastian shrugged as he sat down, stirring his drink absently while smirking at Blaine. Blaine smiled back at Sebastian like he was his entire world. Sebastian forgot how captivating Blaine was to everyone. His good boy attitude left him thoroughly interested in everyone. “Forgot how lame this town is,” Sebastian answered teasingly. “When I lived in Paris I drank it like it was mother’s milk.”

Blaine stared at Sebastian wide-eyed. “When you lived in-” he laughed softly and shook his head, looking down towards the floor with a smile on his face. “Wow. Okay.” 

Sebastian chuckled lightly at Blaine’s reaction. He took a sip of his coffee before asking, “What?” 

“You’re just so,” Blaine laughed again, looking up at Sebastian. He tilted his head to the right before shaking it with a smile. “You know. You’re out there.” 

Sebastian chuckled again and leaned forward onto his elbows. “And your whole bashful schoolboy thing?” He asked, relishing in the way it turned Blaine’s whole face red. “Super hot.” 

Blaine blushed harder and laughed softly, shaking his head again. “Sebastian, look,” he started. Sebastian internally prepared his replies for a whole monologue about how Blaine was waiting for the right guy or how he didn’t trust someone who he’d heard slept around in the past to be in a monogamous relationship. In less than a minute, with skills learned in multiple advanced placement courses to thank, Sebastian had prepared for every sentence except: “I have a boyfriend.”

Admittedly, that took some air from Sebastian’s lungs. He knew Blaine was attractive to other people, of course, and that people could show interest in dating him, but that soon? However, he regained composure. A voice in his head told him that boyfriends had never stopped him in the past. That voice sounded oddly like Hunter. “Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”

Blaine sighed softly. He crossed his arms in front of him on the table and leaned forward as if telling a secret. “No, I mean, I really care about him.” Sebastian felt a twinge in his heart at a voice that used to be reserved for him. He jokingly called it Blaine’s wife-y intonation. 

Sebastian eyed Kurt as he walked into the Lima Bean on instinct. “He doesn’t need to know.” 

Blaine’s smile dropped slightly, still polite in nature, his face still flushed red like it was crazy that Sebastian was talking to him in the first place about this. “I just never want to mess up my thing with him in any way. He’s really great.”

Suddenly, Kurt was behind Blaine, two hands on the back of his seat as he smiled down at Blaine. It was something Sebastian never wanted to see again for as long as he lived. “Who’s really great?”

Blaine spun around in his chair and smiled, giving a nervous laugh that Sebastian recognized instantly. It was the same one he used to give Sebastian when Blaine had been flirting with a Warbler or a new student to Dalton or a boy at one of his or Sebastian’s parents’ rich parties. “You!” he said with another breathless laugh. “We were just talking about you.” 

Sebastian was not ashamed to admit, it took him a minute. However, it all made sense as Blaine turned back to him with a beaming smile on his face. “Sebastian, this is my boyfriend, Kurt, who I was just-” 

Sebastian held a hand up to silence his nervous rambling. “Got it.” It took him a second to process this new information. Kurt Hummel, who made his blood boil and his head spin with rage, was now dating  _ his boyfriend _ .  _ His boyfriend _ was now dating Kurt Hummel. His mind was like a never ending stream of Facebook updates: Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson are now in a relationship.

Sebastian barely noticed Kurt holding his hand out. “Pleasure,” he said. Sebastian shook Kurt’s hand and gave him a fake smile of his own. Kurt glared behind Blaine’s chair. They dropped each other’s hands and Kurt slid into the seat next to Blaine, grabbing his hand with a familiar ease. He laced their fingers together and held their combined hands on his leg. Sebastian had never wanted to cut someone’s leg off more. “And how do we know Sebastian?” he asked Blaine.

Sebastian jumped in, lot letting Blaine a moment to answer. If Kurt wanted to play the ‘never met before’ card, Sebastian could play. “We met at Dalton,” he answered smoothly. “After, you know, saving his life, I was dying to meet Blaine. The guys on campus just would not shut up about him.” Sebastian watched as Blaine, yet again, turned red. “Didn’t think he could live up to the hype, but-” 

Kurt cut Sebastian off sharply. “Yes,” he replied, a fake smile still apparent as he turned to kiss Blaine’s cheek. “He’s even more impressive in the flesh.”

Sebastian held off the overwhelming urge to fake gag. Suddenly, an idea struck him. Just because Blaine was Kurt’s now, it didn’t mean he was ready to give him up just yet. “Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?”

Blaine looked like he wanted to respond, but he was quickly cut off. “We’re studying for Italian,” Kurt responded instead. “And then at nighttime we do a vigourous skin regimen over the phone together.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at the sentence. “And as sexy as that sounds,” he said sarcastically, earning another bitch glare from Kurt and a sympathetic chuckle from Blaine. “What do you say we shake things up? I get you guys a couple of fake IDs and then,” he paused slightly for dramatic effect. “We head down to Scandals in West Lima.” 

“Scandals?” Blaine asked, momentarily confused. He racked his brain for a minute before realization dawned on his face. He looked, fittingly enough, scandalized. “That’s the gay bar!” 

Sebastian chuckled at Blaine’s reaction and watched as Kurt squeezed their hands more firmly together. He rolled his eyes at the gesture. He doubted Kurt had ever even come close to a gay bar. “Last time I was there, I met the man of my dreams on the dance floor,” he bragged.

Kurt gave him a smile that was so fake it nearly made Sebastian gag. “That’s so sweet,” his tone had an underlying tease that Sebastian was sure Blaine wouldn’t pick up as he asked, “Are you two still together?” 

Sebastian kept up his fake smile even though he wanted nothing more than to punch Kurt in the throat. “Sadly, no,” he answered. Blaine gave him a sympathetic smile as Kurt’s intensely fake smile stayed plastered on his face. “We broke up about twenty minutes after we met.” He chuckled at both Kurt and Blaine’s reactions, each a tad scandalized. “Come on guys, live a little.” 

Blaine looked like he wanted to say one thing, but turned to Kurt where he quickly mentally decided against it. “We would love to, Sebastian. Thank you for the offer,” he squeezed Kurt’s hand tightly in his and shot the Warbler a smile that made Sebastian want to vomit. He turned back to Sebastian with a decidedly different smile, friendly, but not in love. “But that isn’t really our kind of thing.”

Suddenly, Kurt spoke. “Let’s do it.” 

Sebastian and Blaine both turned to him with looks of disbelief on their faces. “What?” Blaine asked for the both of them.

“Yeah!” Kurt said. He smiled at Blaine with an enthusiasm that was grossly real. “I mean, we have a lot of firsts to cross off of our lists.” Blaine turned a bright red and Sebastian felt a pang in his heart at the implications. They were planning to sleep together. Kurt was going to be the first person Blaine remembered sleeping with. Kurt smirked at Sebastian like he knew exactly what was running through his mind. “We’re in.”

“Great,” Sebastian said with a fake smile back at Kurt.

He gave Blaine a real smile, hoping for some sign of remembrance to cross his face. Blaine just gave him a smile back, a real, excited smile. “Great,” he replied.

As soon as he was sure Kurt and Blaine were out of earshot, he muttered, “fuck.”


	6. vi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian takes Kurt and Blaine out dancing and things get interesting when Blaine gets drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all! I hope you all love this chapter! The end was especially fun to write! It's been amazing to see your feedback chapter after chapter, (especially those of you really into it and going nooooo) and I hope this illicites the same types of reactions.   
> -Seb

Sebastian sat at the bar, drink in his hands. He occasionally glanced over his shoulder, waiting for the first signs of Kurt or Blaine. A regular at Scandals, a closeted college kid with dark black hair and bright blue eyes, slid into the seat next to Sebastian. “You look awfully tense today, Seb,” he commented, bumping Sebastian’s shoulder. “Waiting for a boy?” 

“Two, actually,” Sebastian replied under his breath, bringing his glass to his lips and taking a long sip. The college kid raised an eyebrow and Sebastian shoved him. “Not like that, pervert. They’re in a relationship. They’re coming as friends.” It felt weird to call Blaine a friend, but he wasn’t too keen on spilling his heart to someone he had briefly spilled something else to before. 

“And you don’t want to sleep with either of them?” Sebastian’s silence and shrug was enough to illicit a laugh. “Right,” said his companion. He seemed to have spotted someone from across the bar and Sebastian’s eyes trailed over to the guy leaning against a wall, eye-fucking the college student. “Sure you don’t want a bathroom blowjob to relax? Last chance, Smythe.” 

“Nah, go off with your next victim,” Sebastian said, giving the boy a slight smile. The college kid shrugged before going to meet his guy, the two of them immediately headed towards the bathroom. Sebastian sighed as he continued to watch the entrance. Suddenly, he spotted Kurt and Blaine walk in. They looked around for a minute before catching Sebastian's eye. Blaine waved to him and Sebastian held a hand up in recognition. Kurt whispered something to Blaine and Blaine whispered back before the two of them were at Sebastian’s side. 

“A beer for Blaine,” Sebastian announced, handing the drink over to Blaine, who gave him a thankful smile before taking a tiny sip. “And for Kurt,” he reached behind him for the fruity, non-alcoholic drink he had ordered. “A shirley temple with extra cherries.” He shot Kurt a fake smile as he handed it to him. “I heard you’re the designated driver. Like, always.” Kurt glared back at him and Sebastian resisted the urge to laugh as he clinked his glass against Blaine’s, and then to save face, Kurt’s. “Cheers, boys. To the glamorous life.”

After getting a few more drinks into Blaine, he was rightfully drunk, in between holding onto inhibitions and feeling like he got hit by a truck. Sebastian laughed as he watched Blaine sway to the music. He got off his chair and walked over to Blaine’s, a hand on his waist. “Would you like to dance?” he asked softly. 

Blaine hardly seemed to notice the flirty tone as he nodded quickly. He jumped off his chair to join Sebastian before looking back at Kurt. “Are you coming?” he asked hopefully. 

“Nah,” Kurt said with a soft shake of his head. “But it’s fine. You two go ahead. I’ll just stay here.” 

“Suit yourself,” Sebastian said before bringing Blaine to the dance floor. 

The loud club music pumped through his veins, aided by the alcohol, and he felt good as he allowed himself to sway to the beat, Blaine doing the same. Blaine seemed a little less in control of his actions, his inhibitions shattered by just a few drinks instead of having the build up Sebastian had after doing this for years. “You know what, Sebastian?” Blaine asked loudly, yelling over the music. 

Sebastian laughed in reply. “What’s that?” he asked.

Blaine gave him a wide smile. Sebastian had missed his smile so much. “This,” Blaine slurred. “This is the best night of my life.” 

Sebastian smiled at that, putting his hands to Blaine’s hips. He pulled Blaine closer to his body so that they were pressed together. “This is how you dance in a bar,” he said teasingly, grinding their hips together softly. Blaine just laughed, his head thrown back from the force of the laugh as he grinded back against Sebastian. “So what’s up with you and Kurt?” 

“What’s up with me and Kurt?” Blaine slurred. He shrugged, leaning forward into Sebastian more in his state of drunkenness, his hips still swaying to the thumping beat. “What do you mean what’s up with me and Kurt? I’m into him. He’s into me. We’re into each other.” He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “It’s called a relationship, Sebastian.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes as well, though he was sure his version was much less kind. He doubted Blaine noticed. “I get that, really, I do.” Blaine gave him a smile that melted his heart a little bit. “I just think you can do a lot better than Hummel, that’s all.” 

Blaine chuckled again as he continued to move in time with Sebastian. “Oh yeah?” he asked. Sebastian could swear his tone was teasing, but if that was intentional or not was unclear. “Like who?” 

Sebastian pulled Blaine close to his body and whispered, “me,” relishing in the little gasp that left Blaine’s mouth. They were so close that he could feel Blaine's breathing and could see the details in Blaine’s eyes where they went wide. His grip on Blaine’s wrists was loose, Blaine could pull away if he wanted to, but Blaine did no such thing. Sebastian could feel Blaine’s pulse, his heart beating in time with the music. Their eyes were locked on each other’s, Blaine’s wide and searching as if pulling through a mist to try to understand. Sebastian ran his thumb over Blaine’s wrists and leaned down slightly, their lips brushing against each other in a mock kiss and as Sebastian leaned forward to connect their lips for real-

Kurt was pulling Blaine towards him. Blaine, drunk as he was, just went back with Kurt, no shame from coming close to kissing Sebastian. He turned to Kurt and kissed him for real, Sebastian feeling a pang of jealously rip through his chest at a kiss that was supposed to be his, before grinding against Kurt in just the way Sebastian taught him. Sebastian backed away, could admit defeat where defeat needed to be admitted, and swayed slowly to the music, watching the boyfriends dance.


	7. vii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian catches up with Blaine on his way to class. Later, he shows up at Kurt's house to give him a piece of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!   
> as always, thank you for your continued support of this work. i listened to a few of your comments where you said you were a bit angry that sebastian wasn't fighting back hard, so i wormed in a little fight at the end. this chapter came the most naturally to me of any chapters and it tides you over in the wait for more plot.   
> remember you can tell me your opinions in the comments.  
> mwah,  
> sebastian

Sebastian caught up with Blaine on Monday on his way to class, dropping a cup of coffee into Blaine’s hands. Blaine smiled at him graciously, taking a tiny sip. He was wearing a blue denim trench coat, a beanie concealing his perfectly gelled hair. His hands were unclosed by dark red gloves and he put them both on the cup to warm them. “I just wanted to thank you for the other night,” Blaine said as they walked side by side. Sebastian shrugged in reply, his hands in his back pockets as he walked. “Honestly, Sebastian. Both Kurt and I had a great time.”

“It’s nothing,” Sebastian answered. Blaine smiled at him before looking to the path ahead of the two of them, Sebastian doing the same. “So speaking of Kurt,” that grabbed Blaine’s attention, the Warbler turning towards Sebastian with a puzzled expression. “Did you two make love,” he said it sarcastically so that Blaine wouldn’t be able to hear the genuine interest in his words “when you went back to his place?” 

Blaine chuckled softly and turned back to the path. “No,” he said with a soft shake of his head. Sebastian quietly released a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. “No. We want to do that when we’re sure we’ll both remember it, not when I’m hopelessly drunk.” Sebastian mentally thanked his past self for getting Blaine drunk. 

The two walked up to a door and Blaine turned to Sebastian. “This is my class,” he said softly. He offered Sebastian a smile. “I’ll see you later, okay? I want to hang out more. I’ll text you.” 

Sebastian couldn’t help but smile at that as he nodded. “Yeah,” he answered. “I would enjoy spending more time with you, Blaine Anderson.” Blaine smiled wider at that and hugged Sebastian gently before walking through the door. If Sebastian lingered by the door for more than a minute, well, who could blame him?

-

It was dark when Sebastian showed up at the Hummel-Hudson residence. He had heard from a first-hand source, Rachel Berry after she was bribed with the fact that it could save her best friend from the jaws of the Warblers even though he was one, that Kurt was the only one home. According to Rachel, he didn’t like living on campus at Dalton though it was a boarding school, didn’t like the idea of sharing a room with someone (“because he’s a diva?” “because he’s smart”) and so he went to his parent’s house after school and on the weekends. His parents were away all weekend at some sort of political social, because apparently Kurt’s dad was a local politician, and so Rachel and Finn had taken full advantage of this, spending the night at Rachel’s gay dad’s house. Innocently, Rachel had said. ANd so Kurt was the only one home. 

Kurt’s home was in a tiny, residential neighborhood in Lima. It was nothing like Sebastian’s parents’ house in a residential neighborhood in Westerville, where everyone had way too much money for their own good and often hosted cocktail parties. Instead, every house in Kurt’s neighborhood seemed to be falling about and trashy. Even Kurt’s parents’ house, though admittedly more cared for, seemed to be in a worse shape than the mansion Sebastian’s parents’ owned. 

Sebastian carefully made his way up the stairs that made up Kurt’s porch, his hand coming to rest on a post that he was sure was supposed to be white, but was instead muddied by dried dirt of some kind. He pushed his finger through some of the dirt and scoffed at the amount that came off the post. He blew the dirt off of his finger with a shake of his head at the blatant disrespect of a piece of architecture before he walked up to the door.

He knocked on it carefully, watching behind his back for any kind of thug that might approach him and try to steal his things. A soft, “coming!” could be heard from inside as footsteps raced towards the door. It swung up in front of Sebastian and sure enough, there stood Kurt Hummel. He was wearing a poncho that resembled a knit scarf, jeans that were way too tight for him and, to top it all off, some sort of baret. He scoffed when he saw Sebastian. “There had better be a very good reason why you’re here, Sebastian. I was moisturizing.” 

Sebastian would have laughed at the admission, except he was too busy pinning Kurt to the wall inside his home, closing the door behind him. It was the first time he’d seen Kurt look genuinely afraid of him, and he could see why. Granted, he wasn’t that much taller than Kurt, but he was certainly bigger, and playing lacrosse regularly meant he had a pretty impressive set of muscles when he wanted to use them. 

“Listen here, you good for nothing freak,” Sebastian growled out. “I don’t know what goes through your fucking sick mind beside Broadway musicals and thinking you’re America’s Next Top Model, but no matter what your game is with Blaine, it’s gross and you know it. Somewhere in your fucking Muppet brain, you know you’re taking advantage of a kind hearted boy just to get back at me and you’re going to knock it off or I’ll kick your ass so hard that it’ll hurt more than when you’re a fucking gloryhole for Trump, got that?”

Kurt gulped and for a second it seemed like maybe he would back down. But then he was laughing. The mother fucker was actually laughing. “I’m taking advantage of Blaine?” he asked. “How am I doing that? By letting hm make his own choices? By asking him to be my boyfriend? By letting our relationship naturally evolve? That’s taking advantage of Blaine?” His glare at Sebastian was hard enough to kill. “Stop living in the past, Sebastian. You had your time with Blaine and you lost him. You’re done.” He made his way out of Sebastian’s grasp and motioned towards the door. “Now, I’d suggest leaving before I call the police. Can’t do much from jail to flirt with Blaine, now can you?” 

Sebastian glared back at Kurt. Spending a little bit in jail didn’t seem like such harsh punishment for beating the shit out of Kurt Hummel, but he knew that his parents would kill him if he wound up in jail and that wasn’t a conversation he was too keen on having. “Fuck you,” he growled out again before walking out, slamming the door behind him. “Fuck you Kurt Hummel!” he screamed from the front porch for Kurt and anyone else who heard. There was no reply, only a laugh as Sebastian walked back to his car, slamming the door as he got in.


	8. viii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and Blaine have a Skype call wherein Blaine tells Sebastian about some interesting dreams he's been having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been up since 7am.   
> here's some plot.  
> blah.  
> (can't wait to hear what you guys think of this one!  
> -seb

Sebastian smiled as Blaine finished a song over Skype, his guitar resting in his lap as he smiled widely back at Sebastian. Blaine was dressed in a simple pair of grey sweatpants and a large Dalton lacrosse sweatshirt. Sebastian kind of wondered when Blaine would realize that he didn’t play lacrosse. “So?” he asked, bringing his laptop closer. “What do you think?” 

“I think you’ve got talent, Blaine Anderson,” Sebastian answered. He shuffled a little, leaning against his hand while laying across his bed wasn’t the best on his hand, but it was easier than sitting up. He watched Blaine blush a deep red. “I’m serious. You could see music one day.” 

Blaine’s face absolutely lit up at that. “You really think so?” he asked. Sebastian simply nodded in reply. Blaine rolled his eyes fondly and put his guitar to the side of his bed. “Well, that’s not what I’m going to do. I have a whole plan for my future.” 

“Oh yeah?” Sebastian asked as if he hadn’t heard Blaine’s plans for the future countless times. “Do tell. If you’re not going to sell your music or become a best selling pop artist with major diva attitude, what are you going to do?” 

 

“Hey!” Blaine said with a soft chuckle. “I am not a major diva?” 

“Oh yeah?” Sebastian asked, a teasing smile on his face and a teasing tone to his voice. “You hair begs to differ.” 

Blaine laughed again and defensively put a hand up to his natural hair to cover it. “Leave my poor hair alone,” he said with another laugh. He dropped his hand to his lap and looked Sebastian over before continuing. “Anyway, my dream is to leave Ohio and go to New York where I will become a kindergarten teacher and marry a very attractive man who will then become my trophy husband.” 

Sebastian chuckled at Blaine’s plans for his future. They hadn’t changed much since the accident, aside from the fact that the husband was now nameless. “Oh yeah?” He asked. “And is Kurt Hummel that trophy husband?” 

Instead of laughing like he expected, Blaine suddenly went quiet. Sebastian was almost afraid he’d gone too far until Blaine spoke again. “Hey, Sebastian?” he asked. Sebastian hummed in question. “Do you know if,” Blaine paused and he looked down to his hands. It was something he did when he was nervous. “Did I have a boyfriend? Before the accident, I mean.” 

Sebastian felt his heart speed up but he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to overload Blaine with information. Which definitely included the fact that they were in love. “I don’t know,” Sebastian answered with a shrug. “Like I said, I barely knew you before the accident. Why?”

Blaine bit his lip and shrugged. He took a breath like he wanted to say something but he closed his mouth with no words coming out. He chuckled and shook his head. “Kurt said it’s probably nothing.” Sebastian’s blood boiled with rage at the idea of Kurt making Blaine keeping ideas to himself. “But,” Sebastian’s head perked up at that simple word. Blaine looked up from his hands suddenly, his eyes meeting Sebastian’s through their respective laptops. “Do you remember I was telling you about how I can remember a guy? I can remember,” he trailed off, his hands moving in front of his face in a circular motion as he looked for the correct terminology. “Making love with some guy?”

Sebastian felt like laughing but he held back. Did he remember? How could he not? That choreography lesson, his hands on Blaine’s hips, Blaine’s cheeks tinted red, the way he had chuckled like he was embarrassed. _ “Hot,” _ Blaine had called it and he called it in his head when Sebastian thought of him like that. Sebastian said none of this and simply nodded in response. 

Blaine’s eyes dropped from Sebastian’s again, trailing down to his hands. He shook his head as the whole thing once again dropped to his chest. Blaine turned a deep scarlet. “K-” he shook his head again with a soft smile. “Kurt said it’s probably nothing,” he repeated. He looked back up at Sebastian suddenly. Out of the corner of his computer screen Sebastian could see Blaine picking at his fingernails. “Sometimes,” he sighed. “Sometimes I’ll have these dreams. Kurt says it’s probably nothing, but they feel like memories. I feel like I’m trying to remember and I can’t remember what I’m trying to remember but in these dreams I can see. Kinda.” He dropped his head again with a soft sigh. A corner of his mouth twitched up before it fell into a frown. “But it’s probably nothing.”

“I don’t care,” Sebastian answered without thinking. Blaine’s head snapped up as his eyes met Sebastian’s and it was only then that Sebastian realized how strange that sentence must have sounded. “I meant, I don’t care what Kurt thinks.” Blaine furrowed his eyebrows in a way that Sebastian knew meant he was confused. “Tell me about your dreams.” 

Blaine’s whole body flushed then and he momentarily closed his eyes. He smiled as if remembering something good, something that made him feel as warm inside as he made Sebastian feel, and when he opened his eyes again there seemed to be a calm over his body. Sebastian would have been a tad scared by the transformation if he wasn’t engulfed in Blaine. “It’s a boy,” Blaine said. Sebastian felt the air taken from his lungs at the simple sentence. “I don’t know who he is,” Blaine went on. “I don’t know his relation to me and I can’t see his face and I don’t know his name and I can’t hear his voice, but I can feel his hands on me.”

Sebastian felt his throat go dry and the words, “what do his hands feel like?” left his mouth without permission. 

Blaine’s breath hitched at what was obviously an intimate topic for him. If it was possible, he went even redder. When he spoke again, his voice was in a gravelly tone that Sebastian hadn’t heard for so long and missed so badly. “His hands are rough,” Blaine spoke and Sebastian felt the air kicked from his lungs a second time. “But the good kind of rough. The rough kind of hands that only a boy has. They feel warm on my skin and they ignite something so primal inside me. It’s a feeling that I can’t rediscover in my waking life, but it’s there so evidently in my dreams.” 

Sebastian knew it was him, could imagine exactly what Blaine was talking about, could imagine his hands on Blaine and holding Blaine, feeling Blaine’s skin under him, that flushed flesh so warm under his hand, his grip strong and sure as Blaine fell deeper with him. He only wished Blaine could remember the emotion behind it, could imagine the emotions that Sebastian could see in his mind’s eye. “And what is he doing?” Blaine looked back up at Sebastian as if he didn’t even remember Sebastian was there. “Your mystery man,” Sebastian clarified. “What was your mystery man doing?” 

“He’s touching me,” Blaine answered softly. He closed his eyes again and brought his left hand to his right shoulder. Sebastian felt his breath hitch as he realized Blaine was remembering Sebastian touching him at that very moment, even if he didn’t realize it. “Stroking my skin. Making me feel things I haven’t felt before. Holding me.” Blaine chuckled softly and dropped his hand, breaking the illusion. “Kurt says it was probably a random one night stand, but it feels like so much more than that. It feels like-” he smiled softly. “Love.” 

Sebastian felt his breath hitch in his throat. Blaine loved him? He supposed he’d always known that but to have Blaine say it aloud for the first time, even if he didn’t know it, was enough to make Sebastian a little dizzy. “And-” he cleared his throat. “You don’t think this is Kurt?” He asked instead. 

Blaine shook his head. He looked a bit guilty as his gaze fell back to his fingertips. Sebastian wanted to punch Kurt for making Blaine look like that. “No,” he shook his head. “No. Kurt’s nice and all but-” he shook his head again and chuckled lightly. “It’s this mystery memory man.” He smiled right at the camera, his eyes meeting Sebastian’s. 

“My mystery memory man’s the one I’m going to marry.”


	9. ix.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and Hunter talk about new Blaine news. Later, someone breaks into their dorm room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys tired of mindless filler? I hope not because here's some more! 
> 
> I'm sorry there haven't been plotty bits but I overestimated the amount of plot in this and now it's mostly just Seb/Blaine filler. Hope you don't mind? 
> 
> As always, thoughts are appreciated in comment form. <3

“So,” Hunter said as soon as he got back from a camping trip with his parents and their rich friends. The smirk on his face and the fading hickey on his collarbone said he definitely got laid. Sebastian rolled his eyes at the unfinished question he knew was coming as Hunter dragged a duffle bag too big for just a weekend away from school. “Any new Blaine news?”

Sebastian thought about telling him about the Skype call that he and Blaine had shared, but it seemed too personal to Blaine. Sure, Blaine would probably never find out, but Sebastian wasn’t that big of a douchebag. “Nah,” he replied instead. Hunter rolled his eyes as he started putting his clothes back. Hunter picked a bra from his bag and Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Today’s his first day sleeping at Dalton since the accident.” 

“Is that really what you’re calling it?” Hunter asked. He put the rest of his clothes away and flopped back onto his bed. He checked the time, around one in the morning, and groaned as he scrubbed a hand over his eyes. 

“What’s wrong with calling it the accident?” Sebastian asked. Hunter shrugged and looked like he was going to say something but Sebastian cut him off. “It’s not like I intentionally shoved him into that rock.”

“Chill the fuck out,” Hunter replied. His words were harsh but Sebastian knew the sentiment was loving. Hunter stood from his bed and plucked the textbook from Sebastian’s hands, throwing it across the room. It hit their radiator with a sharp thud. Looking accomplished, Hunter crossed the room and went back to his bed. He turned the lamp off and their room was suddenly plunged into darkness. “Goodnight, dude. We can talk about Blaine in the morning.” 

Sebastian felt the need to reply that it was technically the morning, but Hunter was somehow already asleep, snoring lightly. Sebastian rolled his eyes at his roommate before closing his own eyes. He knew it would be impossible to sleep. His thoughts and his dreams were haunted by Blaine and Blaine’s hands on him and his hands on Blaine, the way Blaine had laughed when he took him to the beach, the way Blaine had smiled at him over Skype the other day, how Blaine’s body had flushed red under his hands when they were dancing.

Suddenly, there was a creak in the floorboards. Sebastian sat up very slowly, so as not to make any noise, and there it was again, a creak in the floorboards. A quick glance to Hunter to ensure that he hadn’t magically been able to escape his bed without Sebastian noticing confirmed the fact that something was moving around their dorm. 

There were footsteps outside, very slowly walking towards them as the footsteps grew louder and louder. Sebastian swore under his breath and looked around for something that he could use to defend himself. He found a trophy that he received in middle school for being smarter than everyone else and mentally thanked his mother’s obsession with keeping things that weren’t worth anything before grabbing it.

The door creaked open a little. From his position and in the shit moonlight, Sebastian couldn’t see features of the person, but he could definitely see a person who was a little shorter than he was but probably of the same stature. Sebastian very lighting hit the trophy against his hand as he approached the figure, their head sweeping the room. They seemed to have noticed Sebastian suddenly as they quickly grabbed the weapon from his hands and put a hand over his mouth to silence him. Sebastian’s eyes went wide and he was going to scream out for Hunter (which is a sentence he never thought himself capable of saying) when the figure spoke. “Sebastian,” it said in a hurried hushed tone. “Sebastian, calm down. It’s me.” It was then that Sebastian’s eyes adjusted to the lighting provided by the moon and he could make out Blaine’s face. 

“Blaine,” Sebastian hissed once Blaine had very carefully removed his hand. “Why the fuck did you attempt to break into my room?” While it was good that it was Blaine and not someone with the malicious intent to skin him or something, killing the guy he was in love with using a trophy was not Sebastian’s ideal Sunday evening. Early Monday morning, whatever.

“I’m sorry,” Blaine answered. Sebastian could imagine the blush that would overcome his body as the guilt of startling Sebastian set in and it almost made the whole experience worth it. “I couldn’t sleep. This is my first time sleeping here since the accident and it’s,” he paused to chuckle. “It’s kind of weird. My roommate is really nice but I don’t know him. Nothing in my dorm is familiar. Kurt goes home instead of sleeping here.” Blaine shrugged. “I don’t know. I just wanted something familiar and that was you.” 

“So what?” Sebastian asked with a soft chuckle. “You want to cuddle?” Blaine’s shrug was answer enough and Sebastian raised an eyebrow, even if Blaine couldn’t see it. “Don’t you think it would bother Kurt if I cuddled his precious boyfriend?” 

Blaine shrugged yet again. “I don’t think so,” he answered as he crossed the room. He laid down in Sebastian’s bed and looked at the Warbler with wide, innocent eyes. “We’re just friends, aren’t we? And it’s not like we’ll do anything that isn’t completely innocent.” He picked at a thread in Sebastian’s bedding. “It’ll be completely innocent.” He looked up at Sebastian and shrugged. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Sebastian considered not doing it, honestly he did. Blaine might have been his at one point but he had morals, and usually those morals stopped him from doing things with guys that were already in relationships. But then he looked at Blaine, cast in the silent glow of the moonlight, his skin glowing as he smiled at Sebastian and the mindlessness of one in the morning set in. Sebastian bit his lips and momentarily rocked on his heels before sighing, walking over to his bed. He grabbed the duvet and lifted it, dropping it over his and Blaine’s bodies. 

Blaine instantly curled up to him, his head right under Sebastian’s chin, carefully resting in the crook of his neck. His arm dropped across Sebastian’s chest and his fingers reached to the middle of Sebastian’s back. Their legs tangled together as they naturally drew closer. Sebastian hooked his arm around Blaine’s waist, the other coming to rest in his hair. He could feel Blaine's smile against his skin as Blaine sighed in content. “Goodnight, Sebastian,” he said softly and then his eyes fluttered closed and he too fell asleep. 

Sebastian’s earlier predicament of not being able to sleep was only made worse with Blaine curled up to him. Now he could feel Blaine under his hands, could feel the heat radiating from his body, could run his hands through Blaine’s hair like he had done so many times in the ast. He willed himself to remember that, to Blaine, this was just innocent. This was just a friendly thing to do. There was nothing inherently romantic or,  _ fuck _ , sexual about being tangled up in each other. Sebastian took a deep breath to calm himself and those thoughts immediately flew out the window.

Sebastian eventually managed to look down at Blaine, tangled in his arms. Blaine looked so peaceful like this, and if Sebastian suspended reality for long enough, he could allow himself to believe that nothing had changed, that Blaine finally remembered, that Blaine was in a relationship with him and not Hummel. Sebastian smiled at this thought and very softly kissed the top of Blaine’s head so as not to wake him up. With a very softly whispered “I love you”, Sebastian managed to finally fall asleep. 

-

Sebastian was woken up in the morning by someone ripping the duvet off of his body. He groaned and pulled Blaine closer with a muffled, “Don’t be such a blanket hog, B,” thinking it was probably his sleep partner trying to deal with the excruciating cold of the fall and the chill it brings over the Dalton dorm rooms.

“Think again,” came a voice that was obviously not Blaine’s. Sebastian blinked open his eyes and saw Hunter dressed in full Dalton uniform with his arms crossed over his chest. Right. It probably would have been nice to remember that Hunter woke up before him in the mornings. “Sebastian,” Hunter hissed. “Would you like to have a word,” he glanced at Blaine, still lying in Sebastian’s arms. “Outside?”

Sebastian very carefully untangled himself from Blaine so as not to wake the sleeping boy up. Once he was successfully free, he followed Hunter quietly into the hallway. Once the door was closed behind the two of them, Hunter was anything but quiet. “Did you sleep with Blaine?!” 

This definitely turned the heads of a few Dalton students on their way to the dining hall for breakfast. One quick throat-cutting glare from Sebastian got them to turn away. Even in a t-shirt and sweatpants, Sebastian could still be intimidating. “No,” Sebastian answered quietly. “I didn’t sleep with Blaine. I have morals, thank you very much.” 

Hunter crossed his arms over his chest and gave Sebastian a look of disbelief mixed with sharp disapproval. “Oh yeah?” He asked. “Then what do you call  _ that _ ?” His head tilted towards their room in reference. 

“Well,” Sebastian scratched the back of his head as he paused. “We were sleeping together, I guess.” At Hunter’s eyebrow rise, Sebastian clarified. “We didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re asking. He said he couldn’t sleep at Dalton and wanted familiarity. I was that comfort for him so he was able to sleep. We just slept.” 

Hunter still didn’t look like he bought it. “So you didn’t fuck him? Or kiss him or do any-” he waved his hand in front of his face. “-gay shit?” 

Sebastian huffed at the thought of what gay shit Hunter was describing. “No,” he replied with a shake of his head for emphasis. “I didn’t do gay shit,” with air quotes around the word, “with Blaine. It was completely innocent.”

Hunter was silent for a minute. Then, he started to laugh. This gained the attention of more Dalton students, but this time Sebastian didn’t care enough to scare them off. It was an art that had to be pulled out selectively. “I’m sorry,” Hunter said through laughter, though he didn’t actually sound all that sorry. “It’s just,” he laughed harder at some thought. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Sebastian asked as he glared at Hunter. “What the fuck is wrong with you? What’s so funny?” 

Hunter laughed so hard that he nearly doubled over. “When has Sebastian Smythe ever innocently cuddled someone? When have you and Blaine ever cuddled without you fucking him into the next reality first?” 

Sebastian chuckled as well even as he slapped Hunter’s shoulder. “Shut up,” he answered. He rolled his eyes fondly as Hunter just continued to hysterically laugh. 

Suddenly, the door creaked from behind them, causing Hunter to suddenly cease laughter. Sebastian turned to the door and Blaine smiled at him from the doorway. “Hi, I’m sorry,” he said politely. His hair was a mess from Sebastian’s hands running through it. “Am I interrupting a moment?” 

“No,” Sebastian answered for the two of them. He glared at Hunter who raised his hands in defense. “Hunter was just being a presumptuous dickbag.” 

“Oh,” Blaine answered. He sounded a bit shocked at the way the two best friends were treating each other. Most people didn’t understand Sebastian and Hunter’s relationship. “Well,” he said with a cautious laugh. “I need to go back to my dorm to get changed and stuff.” Sebastian nodded in understanding. Blaine grabbed both of Sebastian’s hands and his voice went quiet. “I wanted to thank you for last night,” he said softly. 

Sebastian smiled at him. He was sure he saw Hunter mock gag but that didn’t really matter right then. “Of course,” he answered. Blaine bit his lip before leaning up and kissing Sebastian’s cheek. With that, he dropped Sebastian’s hands and walked away, waving a quick goodbye to Hunter. 

Hunter waved politely back to him, though his smile dropped to a smirk as soon as Blaine was out of earshot. “Didn’t fuck, my ass.” 

Sebastian huffed out a laugh as he walked back to their room, calling to Hunter, “Bad choice of words!” as he went to get dressed for the day.


	10. x.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine asks Sebastian to help him put up a way early Christmas tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow Seb, you wrote that much filler? About a fucking Christmas tree?  
> I did. I did.   
> I just realized a rough draft of a thing I actually have to do is due on September 1st and I've written about 1k out of 20k words so far because I've been focusing too much on Gone. Oops?  
> Also school.  
> Ahhh I'm more stressed than my namesake is in this chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy. It has some backstory but yeah it's mainly just about a fucking Christmas tree.  
> -Seb

Sebastian was sitting in his dorm writing an essay for his AP biology class when his phone chimed with a text. Usually he wouldn’t answer. Even though his asshole of a dad might not think so, education was something that was really important to Sebastian and he’d rather not fail AP bio. However, the dorms were all but empty, everyone having gone home for the weekend or out to party. Even Hunter was gone, on some date with a girl that he would apparently be out all night with, had told Sebastian not to wait up and was answered with an eyeroll and a “bye, asshole!” 

Sebastian turned his phone over and was met with Blaine’s name followed by three hearts.

_ Blaine 7:34pm _ _   
_ _ Hi Sebastian!! Are you busy? _

Sebastian read the text over and looked back at his AP biology report where he had written approximately two paragraphs and made a halfass outline of the rest. He knew he would kill himself when he had to wake up early Monday morning to finish the essay, but he looked back at the text from Blaine and found that he could really care less. 

_ Sebastian 7:36pm _ _   
_ _ not too busy, killer. what’s going on? _

Bringing back “killer” as a nickname for Blaine had been a decision Sebastian had made during the Skype call where Blaine told Sebastian about his dreams. Seeing the way Blaine flushed under the nickname that to him was new but to Sebastian held too much history was almost too good to pass up. He had been trying to slip it into his daily dialogue ever since then. The next text came quickly after this thought in a series

_ Blaine 7:37pm _ _   
_ _ My parents are out and I bought this big Christmas tree. _

_ Blaine 7:37pm _ _   
_ _ It’s in the back of my truck and I think I might have a teeny problem. [EMOJI] _

_ Blaine 7:38pm _ _   
_ _ [PHOTO MESSAGE] _

The emoji was the monkey covering its eyes. Sebastian chuckled at just how Blaine the emoji was before he pressed on the photo. It was obviously taken on Blaine’s phone and showed a very large Christmas tree in the back of his truck. The area around him seemed to be buildings and looked like the Dalton parking lot, but Sebastian couldn’t be sure. Sebastian smiled at the picture before typing a reply.

_ Sebastian 7:39pm _ _   
_ _ lol good luck b x _

Then, on second thought. 

_ Sebastian 7:40pm _ _   
_ _ do you need help? dunno if you know but i’m very manly. :p _

Blaine’s reply was so quick that Sebastian wouldn’t be surprised if he’d already had it typed out.

_ Blaine 7:40pm _ _   
_ _ That would be great! You’re in your dorm, right?  _

A second text came in before Sebastian could reply. 

_ Blaine 7:41pm _ _   
_ _ Wow. Just realized how creepy I sound! Kurt said you don’t go home on the weekends so I assumed. _

Sebastian’s blood boiled at the mention of Kurt. He didn’t want to think about Blaine and Kurt talking about him when he wasn’t around, the kind of lies that Kurt could feed Blaine about Sebastian without Blaine knowing any better. The very idea made his skin  _ crawl.  _

_ Sebastian 7:42pm _ _   
_ _ wow stalker much?? _

_ Sebastian 7:43pm _ _   
_ _ also i am still at dalton unfortunately. come save me from my paper before it eats me. _

Sebastian went back to typing up his report, but found that he couldn’t concentrate, instead going to his phone to make sure he looked presentable for when Blaine came to get him. The third (third!) time it happened, Sebastian looked at himself in his phone camera and rolled his eyes. God. Since when did Blaine turn him into a twelve year old girl?

Sebastian managed to write another sentence on how the cell was structured to the benefit of the animal it was inhabiting when there was a knock on the door. Sebastian stood quickly to answer it and pulled the door open. He was met by Blaine’s ever smiling face, a Dalton sweatshirt on and a pair of skintight jeans that left nothing to the imagination underneath. “Hi Sebastian!” He said with a smile. 

Sebastian put on his signature smirk as he leaned against the doorway. He made sure he was angled so that his ass was on display. By the way Blaine’s eyes subtly raked his body, it didn’t go unnoticed. “Hey killer,” Sebastian answered. Sure enough, Blaine’s cheeks lit up pink. “Now, I’m not normally one to judge, but don’t you think early November is a bit too soon to put up Christmas decorations?” 

Sebastian knew what the answer was going to be. There was nothing that Blaine loved more than Christmas. (Well, once upon a time the answer would have gone “ _ I love Sebastian but Christmas is a close second” _ but, well, you get it.) Sebastian had spent many early Novembers going with Blaine to buy a Christmas tree for his family’s home, had accepted warm hot chocolate from Mrs. Anderson on the rare occasion when she was home and warm kisses from Blaine on the more frequent occasions when she wasn’t home. It was almost like a tradition for the couple. Sebastian felt mildly smug that, even after the accident, Blaine hadn’t forgotten the tradition.

“I am so offended that you said that,” Blaine answered in a tone that was mock scandalized. He crossed his arms over his chest but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Blaine really was like, well, like a child on Christmas morning when it came to this kind of stuff. “You know, I was going to let you ride in my car but now that you said that, I might just made you jog next to it.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes fondly. “You know,” he answered in a teasing tone. “That is no way to talk to the very manly man who has graciously,” he put a hand to his heart and Blaine nodded with a soft chuckle. “Graciously, Blaine Anderson, donated his time to help a small weakling decorate his parents’ Christmas tree.”

“I’m sure it was out of the total goodness of your heart, Sebastian,” Blaine answered as he gave another laugh. Sebastian nodded and closed the door behind himself as he walked to Blaine’s truck, left lonely in the middle of the parking lot as all the other students had gone home. “So how come it’s me helping you and not Kurt?” 

Sebastian tried not to sound too pleased as he asked the question. The idea of Kurt sharing in a tradition that was usually only theirs had Sebastian’s skin crawling again. God, even without being there Kurt Hummel managed to agitate him. Sebastian and Blaine both got into Blaine’s truck before there was an answer. “He had family obligations. He has mandatory dinner with them and he couldn’t miss it.” Sebastian’s eyeroll apparently did not go unnoticed by Blaine, who smiled at him. “What’s that look for?” 

“Nothing,” Sebastian said, even as he smirked back at Blaine. “I just find it interesting, that’s all.” 

Blaine laughed at that as he pulled his truck out of the Dalton parking lot and onto the street. “What’s even the deal between you and Kurt? Why do you guys hate each other so much? You’re both good guys.” 

Telling Blaine that he hated Kurt because Kurt was secretly an asshole who had stolen Blaine out from under him and was now manipulating him for his own fucked up sex purposes did not seem like an acceptable answer in this situation. “I don’t hate him,” Sebastian answered instead. At Blaine’s disbelieving look, Sebastian clarified. “I despise him.” 

“Ah,” Blaine laughed again. He smiled at Sebastian before turning his eyes to the road in front of him. If they were still dating, Sebastian would have reached out and grabbed Blaine’s hand, locking their fingers over the center console. As it was, he restrained himself. “Well, you’re lucky I like you both.” 

The drive to Blaine’s parents’ home was pretty uneventful. The two of them didn’t talk much, instead deciding to exist in a limbo of quiet interrupted only by Blaine’s taste in music, which included a mix of a cappella, pop music, and broadway hits that would put any other Warbler’s music library to shame. 

Blaine’s parents’ home was a sizable house in West Lima, located in one of the rare neighborhoods in West Lima that didn’t look like it belonged to a serial killer. It had a beautiful garden out front, complete with a fountain and everything. The house itself was a shade of white that took three whole landscapers to keep clean (which wasn’t a fact that Mrs. Anderson kept to herself) and was about three stories tall. The furniture inside all matched beautifully, as though it had been put together by a designer (and it had) and the house itself had a general air of elegance that only a lot of money could convey. 

Though it seemed like it had been pulled right from a sketch of Barbie’s original dream house, Blaine had told Sebastian before the accident that he didn’t particularly care for his house. There was nothing wrong with it, according to Blaine, and he agreed that it was beautiful, but he said he would prefer something smaller. Before the accident, there had been many nights when Blaine and Sebastian would lay tangled up in each other, talking about a future where they would own a tiny house in the suburbs of New York, just a bedroom for himself and Sebastian and one for the daughter they were going to adopt. 

Now, Blaine said nothing as he pulled into the driveway of his parents’ house. There were no other cars, Blaine had mentioned that his parents were gone, meaning they were going to be the only two in the house. If they were still dating, this would be a prime time to fuck Blaine in his childhood bed (he would have definitely been able to talk Blaine into it) but for now he had to remember that they were just friends. Jesus, he could almost hear Hunter laughing at him from Westerville. 

Blaine got out of his truck and Sebastian did the same, the music stopping abruptly as the motor stopped. Blaine crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at the tree in his trunk. Sebastian crossed the car to stand next to Blaine and for the first time got a good look at the rather impressive tree Blaine had bought. It was a fresh tree, probably about ten feet tall and beautiful. It must have cost Blaine a fortune but, hey, that’s what you get when your dad is a doctor and your mom is a CEO. 

“Jesus,” Sebastian swore softly. He walked over to tree and ran his hand along it. “How did you even manage to get this thing in your truck?”

Blaine walked over to Sebastian with his arms still crossed over his chest. He gave a little chuckle as he smiled over at Sebastian. “It was a very muscular man named Tire.” Sebastian raised his eyebrow at the man’s name before shrugging. “I have no idea how we’re going to get it into my house, though. I was kind of hoping my dad would be home but-” 

“Meeting?” Sebastian asked. Blaine nodded as if to say ‘unfortunately’. Sebastian nodded in understanding. With a lawyer as a father, he hardly ever got to see his dad. “We can do it. Don’t underestimate my manliness, Blaine Anderson.” He crossed to the back of the truck and grabbed one end of the tree. “You get the front and we’ll bring it into the house together.”

Somehow, the two of them managed to get the tree into Blaine’s house without either of them sustaining threatening injuries. With Blaine’s ever cheery Christmas playlist in the background, they decorated the tree together. When they were done, fireplace cracking in the background because of how god damn hot it was in Lima, they stood back together to admire their work. 

“The only thing left is the star,” Blaine said with a small smile. He reached down to grab a star from the box of decorations that was laying at their feet. “I don’t think I’m tall enough to reach, though.” Sebastian rolled his eyes fondly. Throughout their time decorating Christmas trees, Blaine had always chosen trees that were too tall for him to reach the top of. Of course, Blaine probably didn’t realize that as he bought this tree. All of that had been before the accident. 

“Here, let me,” Sebastian answered. He took the star from Blaine and stood on his toes, just barely managing to put it on top of the tree. He smiled back at Blaine when it was done, rocking back onto his heels. “There. Your domestic Christmas dreams fulfilled.” 

Blaine hugged Sebastian’s side as the two of them looked up at the tree together. If Sebastian suspended his reality for more than a minute, he could make believe that they were still in a relationship. “Thank you for this,” Blaine said softly. “I don’t know how I would have put this tree up without you.”

“Of course,” Sebastian answered. “I’m happy to do this for you.” 

Blaine reached up and kissed Sebastian’s cheek. Sebastian turned so that he could smile at Blaine properly, Blaine’s hands still wrapped loosely around his waist. Blaine’s smile fell into something that was unreadable. The air in the room changed palpably from friendly to something ringing with something akin to sexual tension with an aura of love and adoration. Sebastian pushed Blaine’s hair out of his face, free of gel ever since the accident wasn’t around to remind him of sadie hawkins, and looked into Blaine’s eyes. Blaine looked back at him, eyes wide, searching Sebastian’s as if looking for something he didn’t understand. 

Sebastian felt an invisible pull towards Blaine, something in the universe bringing them together. He leaned forward, his nose almost connected to Blaine’s as he tilted his head and brushed their lips together with the promise of so much more. He let his eyes flutter shut and was about to go in for another kiss when there was a hand on his chest, softly pushing back. “Sebastian,” Blaine said softly, and the crack in his voice did not go unnoticed as Sebastian pulled back. “We can’t.” 

So much was left unsaid and Sebastian was sure Blaine didn’t even realize. They couldn’t. Not anymore. Because as much as Sebastian would like to pretend, as much as he’d like to forget, it had been Blaine who had forgotten, and he was with Kurt now, he had chosen Kurt over him because it was the option most available. He was committed, damn him. Blaine had always been so committed to Sebastian, how could Sebastian expect anything other than commitment from Blaine in his relationship with Kurt. “Right,” Sebastian said instead of any of this. He stood up straight. “Right.” 

Blaine gave him a small smile, like he understood. Sebastian realized that there was no reason he could have understood. “I’ll go make us some hot chocolate,” he said softly. Blaine pushed past Sebastian on his way to the kitchen. Sebastian’s fingers brushed his waist as he passed and he pretended like he could rest his hands there, like he could grab on and never let go. As soon as Blaine was gone, his fingers clenched into fists, grabbed onto nothing and then let go anyway.


	11. xi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunter takes Sebastian out drinking and something ... interesting happens.   
> WARNINGS: references to sexual acts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you're either thinking one of two things:   
> A. Did you die Seb??  
> or  
> B. Wow, this is only about 16-17K and you said you'd be at 21K by now so basically you're more fucked than Sebastian is.   
> I, my dear friend, did not disappear. I actually wrote out the ending (which took forever) to see where I'd be right now. From chapter ten immediately to the ending is about 18K words, meaning there's only about 13K words of middle stuff to be written to get from here to the ending. So I wrote this.  
> I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this. Also, I wrote a scene that was so incredibly irrelevant to the plot that I deleted it but then I felt bad about leaving y'all hanging for so long so I left it at the bottom in the notes.   
> I hope you guys like this more than I do! As always, leave me your thoughts as comments!  
> -Seb

It was a couple weeks later when Hunter finally convinced Sebastian to go out for drinks with him. Sebastian agreed on the condition that they went to Scandals. Sebastian was pretty sure of Hunter’s closeted bisexuality, and though he wouldn’t sleep with anyone, video proof of Hunter making out with some twink on the dance floor would almost make the outing worth it.

Sebastian spent a good ten minutes on his outfit, a little out of practice for what to wear on Scandals trips. He eventually decided on a white button-up that he left a few buttons unbuttoned on, a pair of black skinny jeans that hugged his ass tightly and once upon a time made Blaine drool, and a pair of black sneakers that looked expensive because they were. When Hunter finally finished doing his hair (and honestly, what straight boy spent that much time on his hair?) they were in Hunter’s car and on the way to Scandals.

Sebastian spent a majority of the time with his head leaning against the window, not bothering to speak to Hunter. Hunter had called this version of Sebastian the ‘grossly in love and sulking over it’ model. According to Hunter, Sebastian was like a Furbie in that he would not shut up about Blaine. Hunter had said that this night would be good for him. Get a few drinks in, hook up with a few guys in the bathroom stall, and somewhere between orgasms three and five, he would forget all about Blaine.

Hunter eventually pulled into the parking lot of Scandals and the two got out of the car. They walked up to the bar, both with a bit of apprehension, but for different reasons. For Hunter, it probably involved being in a gay bar when he himself was a closeted bisexual. (At least as far as Sebastian was concerned.) For Sebastian, it had to do with the fact that he hadn’t done this ever since he’d started dating Blaine. He hadn’t needed to. Going to Scandals was just a way to have meaningless fucks. He could never do that to Blaine.

They flashed their IDs to the underpaid bouncer at the door. Sebastian could tell by the way the guy eyed them up that he knew that Sebastian and Hunter weren’t thirty-two and forty-three, respectively, but he could probably honestly care less as he lifted the bar separating the bar from the outside world and let the two of them walk past.

Sebastian wasn’t sure if it was surprising or not that Scandals hadn’t changed at all since he’d gone to last look for guys. Sure, he’d been there with Kurt and Blaine only a few months ago, but that was different. Then, he’d been wrapped up in Blaine, in the pure energy that came from his former boyfriend and captivated everyone around him. Now that he was here alone (well, with Hunter, but still paying the same amount of attention as if he’d been on his own) he realized that everything was exactly the same.

The crowd was pretty much the same which, okay, was to be expected, honestly. Sebastian had learned in his time in gay bars that the scene tended to remain the same. He’d also learned that every gay bar had its staple three groups. The first, and most captivating, was the group that spent the night dancing. This was usually a combination of white girls (there with their gay friends), college aged twinks with a little too much tequila in them, and men in their thirties and up looking for a grab, which the college aged twinks (and, if drunk enough, one of the girls) were almost too happy to give. Sebastian had only spent a short amount of time in this group, if the guy he was looking to get with asked him to dance or if he spotted an especially intriguing college aged twink, but usually he was in with the next crowd. 

The next group of guys were those just looking for a casual hookup. These guys often remained the same, closeted high schoolers that begged Sebastian not to tell their girlfriends, the occasional college aged twink from before who had gotten just a little bit too drunk, and people like Sebastian, those who just wanted a nameless fuck, no strings attached, sudden, explosive pleasure. These people were mostly resigned to the very back corner of the room where Sebastian could now spot a college aged twink making out with a man who looked to be about forty-five or in the bathroom stall, where all the real fun went down. Usually, Sebastian would aim to gravitate towards these people. Tonight, however, he was destined to stay in the last group of people. 

The last group was easily identifiable, as they usually had their head in their hands and a glass of some kind of whisky that would make you sick unless you already had a pit in your stomach. These people usually hung out by the bar and complained when you asked them if they wanted to dance or go to the bathroom with them. They were the group Sebastian liked to call the divorcees, usually middle aged men whose wives had just left them because they found out they were gay or dramatic high schoolers who thought their high school sweetheart was the love of their lives, only to find out that he was fucking someone behind their back. 

Occasionally, Sebastian would be able to talk one of them into joining the casual hookup group, but he tended to avoid them unless they were insanely gorgeous. Tears weren’t something Sebastian dealt with very well. Most of the time, these guys were unmovable, and speaking to them would only result in a thirty minute lecture about how their wives should have known they were gay because they never could get it up anyway. Usually, Sebastian would try his hardest to actively avoid this group. Today, he joined them, Hunter falling right behind. 

The two of them ordered drinks. Hunter’s arrived in a cocktail glass with a fucking mini umbrella on the top. Sebastian narrowed his eyes as Hunter took a sip, a look that screamed ‘you’re honestly going to tell me you’re straight while you’re drinking that?’ Hunter looked mock offended as he put a hand to his heart. “This is a very manly drink, Sebastian Smythe.” Sebastian scoffed softly and rolled his eyes fondly, turning back to the drink in front of him. He took a very long sip. Hunter seemed to understand to drop it. 

The song changed to something with a thumping beat. Hunter instinctually swayed to the music. “Sebastian!” He had to yell over it. He reached for Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian eyed up his hand apprehensively before taking another long sip of his drink. “Come dance with me!” 

“No thanks!” Sebastian yelled back over the music. Hunter looked like he was going to protest again so Sebastian raised a hand to silence him. “Maybe I’ll join you in a few songs, Hunt,” Sebastian promised, though it was a lie. He had no real intent to dance to anything. The whole idea just seemed a little wrong to him. “Go have fun. Dance the night away.” He raised an eyebrow with a smirk that wasn’t fully there. “Maybe make out with a guy.” 

Hunter scoffed at the prospect. He downed his entire drink, to which Sebastian internally winced, before he ran off to join the circle of white girls, drunk college twinks, and middle aged men looking for a feel. Sebastian rolled his eyes fondly and finished off his drink. Figuring he’d be there for a while, he ordered another. 

The drinks kept on coming for both Sebastian and Hunter. Eventually, Sebastian was so drunk that Hunter was able to convince him to dance. Sebastian didn’t recognize the song, could hardly recognize Hunter in his drunken state, but the beat pumped through his veins along with the alcohol and warmed him as he moved on pure instinct. Hunter and Sebastian danced close together, grinding together in the push and pull of the group dance. 

The rest of the night disappeared into a blur, random moments coming up like someone had put together a slideshow. At some point, they decided to leave, the cold air of Lima in December biting into their skin. It hardly affected either of them, drunk off of the alcohol and music and good times. They clung to each other and laughed like drunken idiots as they stumbled into the cab that, thankfully, one of them had the common sense to order. 

Sebastian wasn’t sure who insinuated it, but when they finally got to their dorm, they were kissing intensely, the alcohol reminding them that they were just teenage boys, after all, and neither of them had fucked anyone recently and it just felt so good. Hunter’s lips were warm under Sebastian’s, and while he obviously wasn’t very skilled in kissing another guy, he could kiss. His hands were rough as they ran under Sebastian’s shirt, nothing like Blaine’s. In the heat of the moment, Sebastian wondered why he was thinking about Blaine. 

Shirts and pants and shoes and socks (because only boring people fuck with their socks on) went flying through the room as they continued their passionate kiss. Somehow, they made their way to the bed and then they were completely naked and grinding and moving together, Hunter was panting in Sebastian’s ear and it was so good. Sebastian was pretty sure that he called out Blaine’s name instead of Hunter’s, but Hunter was so drunk and so strung out on the pleasure of it all that Sebastian doubted he even realized. 

When they were finished, neither of them bothered to clean up. Coincidentally, neither of them had bothered to turn on a light, so they didn’t have to move at all, which was good because Hunter was already dead asleep next to Sebastian and snoring loudly. Sebastian himself was close to falling asleep, still wasted and exhausted from his previous activities. It was only as he was on the verge of sleep that the reality of what he’d done set it.

He’d just slept with Hunter. Fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian was in the Warbler chambers early for once, and none of the other Warblers were there. Walking through the doors had always been like shedding his skin and taking on a new skin to Sebastian, getting rid of the stresses of the day to do something that he loved. Hunter would tell Sebastian that he was a weirdly sentimental motherfucker, but Blaine had said once that he got it, understood having somewhere to fit in. Sebastian wondered if Blaine shared the same sentiment still.   
> Sebastian tossed his bag onto a couch before looking around the room. The piano was left unoccupied and was basically screaming out Sebastian’s name. Not many people knew this about Sebastian, but he had learned to play the piano as a young child in Paris. His mother thought it would be good for him to learn a musical instrument. Learning to play at such a young age was what sparked his love of music in the first place.   
> When he moved to Lima, he’d stopped playing piano in public, much to his mother’s distress. He found that people who played piano in Lima weren’t as cool as they were in Paris. Still, sometimes when he was bored or sad, he would play the shitty baby grand his parents had put in their home. It didn’t sound as good as an expensive piano, but it brought him back to simpler childhood days in Paris. Blaine was the only one he’d ever told about that.  
> Sebastian sat behind the piano and let his fingers softly fall across a key. The sound was beautiful, the piano had obviously cost Dalton a lot of money, and reminded Sebastian of the piano his instructor had in Paris, a beautiful white thing that was the only of its kind.  
> He played the first few notes of Three Cheers for Five Years by Mayday Parade almost instinctually. It was a song he’d played many times before, in practice to play it for Blaine. Blaine had mentioned in passing once that it was one of his favorite songs, and once, in an attempt to woo him, Sebastian had learned the whole thing.  
> Memories of the day flooded through his body like the notes had flowed from his hands. Memories of Blaine singing softly along, his smile when Sebastian was done, the way he’d told Sebastian that his voice was beautiful. Memories of what they’d done afterwards, hands tracing each other’s bodies, wrapped around each other, kisses to any piece of skin that they could manage to reach, panting in each other’s ears, softly saying I love you without saying it. “You’re so perfect” or “You’re amazing” coming out instead.  
> “Hey dude,” Hunter greeted as he walked into the chambers, effectively breaking Sebastian out of his thoughts. “You look like you’re having a religious experience with that piano.” He tossed his bag aside in the same careless fashion that Sebastian had thrown his aside. He eyed Sebastian up before dropping his voice. “Is it Blaine?”   
> Sebastian considered denying it, but he knew that he must have had his ex written all over his face. He dropped his fingers across the piano once more, but all that came out was a broken cord. “Yeah,” he answered softly.   
> Hunter gave him an understanding look and reached out for Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian took it and stood up, appreciating the gesture and the warmth of another person. Hunter’s hand wasn’t anything like Blaine’s, it was rougher and slightly cooler. However, Sebastian didn’t have very much time to dwell on this difference as Hunter had dropped his hand.   
> “Come on,” Hunter urged. “Let’s rehearse.”


	12. xii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At one of his parents' holiday parties, Sebastian reflects on the aftermaths of sleeping with Hunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i have such a love for this chapter. 
> 
> i loved writing this solely because of the back and forth between the flashbacks and the party. it was a fun way to divide up some of the more boring plot with an excuse to focus solely on the interesting parts that contributed to the plot, as well as to character build sebastian's relationships with people we don't see in glee often. 
> 
> jeff is also based on a really old roleplay partner i had in a roleplay in which he had a giant crush on sebastian. jeff isn't really dug into, like, at all on glee so i based him off of my old roleplay buddy's version. hi, if you're reading. 
> 
> i've also decided that when i'm done, i might post some deleted content in the form of other fics and i'd like to know if y'all would like that or if you think gone is better as a standalone without the deleted content. 
> 
> as always, i'd love to hear your opinions on this chapter. i really think you guys will love it. 
> 
> thank you for your continued support.   
> -seb   
> (p.s. i love writing skylar should i continue to include him??)

Christmas with his family had always been something Sebastian dreaded, and now that he was right back in the middle of it, he was beginning to remember why. He’d been asked by his grandmothers on both sides, three different aunts, two uncles with pats on his back, and one rather flirtatious cousin whom Sebastian was fairly certain would do well in the south where that kinda shit was legal if he’d found a girlfriend yet. None of them reacted well when Sebastian had answered no and added that he was still, in fact, gay.

It was his father, with the aid of a few tequilas (a few was a term used quite liberally in the Smythe house) how his roommate Hunter was. Sebastian had successfully evaded the question all together by pointing out that Uncle Steven was dancing on their white couches with a glass of red wine yet again. However, now that Hunter was brought up, Sebastian almost couldn’t help but remember. 

_ Hunter had been the first to wake up, and had woken Sebastian up with soft chants of “fuck, fuck, fuck.” Sebastian’s head was pounding from drinking so much. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had gotten that drunk, but last night had definitely been a mistake. He couldn’t even remember anything after the eighth glass of whatever he’d been drinking. “Hunt,” Sebastian managed to croak out. “Why the fuck are you awake and in my bed? Go the fuck back to sleep, dude.” _

_ When Hunter didn’t reply, Sebastian opened his eyes to glare at his roommate. What he didn’t expect, however, was for Hunter to be completely naked, save for a blanket hugged tight to his chest, his neck littered with hickeys as he looked at Sebastian with wide eyes. It was only then that Sebastian realized he too was completely naked as well. He could feel his neck throb with the faint reminder of teeth on his skin.  _

_ Everything came rushing back to Sebastian in a whir, breaking through his headache to present itself front and center. Kissing Hunter breathless against the door, clothes scattered in a hurry across the floor of their room, the two of them falling into bed together, kissing and touching and rubbing and- _

_ Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.  _

“Sebastian Smythe,” came the voice of one of his parents’ rich friends. Sebastian pushed all thoughts of Hunter out of his mind and composed himself. He turned to the man in question, Dr. Brown, with his trademark  _ ‘I’m richer than you and I know it’ _ look. 

“Dr. Brown,” Sebastian answered, attempting to sound somewhat interested in the plastic surgeon approaching him. He held out his hand and Dr. Brown shook it. Sebastian noted that he had a loose grip. He mentally scolded himself for the use of the term loose grip so soon after thinking about having sex with Hunter.  _ Gag _ . “To what do I owe the honor?” 

Dr. Brown chuckled softly. He took a long sip of the very expensive cocktail in his hand before answering, “I saw the heir to the Smythe name and couldn’t stop myself from saying hello.” Sebastian smiled at that and nodded in understanding. “Now that I’m close to you, I note some dark circles.” Sebastian had to physically hold himself back from rolling his eyes. “A girl keeping you up at night, Sebastian?” 

Sebastian chuckled softly, in true Sebastian Smythe fashion. Just because he was freaking out over fucking his straight best friend in a drunken haze didn’t mean he could let his reputation down. “I don’t swing that way, doctor,” he answered evasively. 

“Ah,” Dr. Brown answered with a false pretense of understanding. He took another sip from the cocktail in his hands, Sebastian noted that he would probably be dancing on their white couches before the night was over, and asked, “So a boy, then?” 

“Boys,” Sebastian corrected with a wink and a smirk. “Plural. And it’s more like I’ve been keeping them up, if you catch my drift.” Hey, it wasn’t like it was a lie.

“Ah,” Dr. Brown said again. He chuckled at the answer as he raised his glass in front of Sebastian before taking another long sip, emptying the glass. “Well, you can come to me if you decide that pretty face needs anything done about it. I’ll give you a special deal because you’re a Smythe and I like your dad.” Dr. Brown pat Sebastian’s shoulder before walking off, most likely in the search for another drink. 

Left alone, Sebastian’s mind wandered back to his previous thoughts. 

_ Once they had showered and gotten dressed, Sebastian and Hunter decided they needed to talk this over. Well, Hunter had decided. Sebastian had agreed solely because Hunter looked like he was going to explode if he didn’t get it all out. Sebastian had seen Hunter explode and it wasn’t exactly pretty. “Okay,” Hunter had been saying for about a minute straight. “Okay.” Finally, he stopped his nervous panting and looked at Sebastian, his hands folded to his chest like he was a Catholic schoolboy. “I slept with you.”  _

_ Sebastian pulled the collar of his shirt down to reveal the hickeys that Hunter had left there. Hunter winced like it physically hurt him to look at the evidence. “I got that much, Hunt.” Hunter resumed his nervous pacing and okay-ing. “Listen,” Sebastian said finally, if only to calm Hunter. “It doesn’t mean anything. It was just a meaningless fuck. We’ve both had plenty of those.”  _

_ Hunter seemed to calm once the words were out there. “Right,” he answered. “Just a meaningless fuck.” Sebastian nodded his approval. “It doesn’t mean anything.” He turned suddenly to Sebastian, pointing an accusatory finger at his best friend. “And I am not gay.” _

_ Sebastian rolled his eyes as if to say ‘yeah, sure’. “Whatever,” Sebastian interjected when Hunter looked like he was going to speak again. “Let’s just never tell anybody about this. Like, ever. It’ll be like it never happened.”  _

“I’d like to make a toast,” Sebastian’s mother’s voice broke through the crowd. She was stood on a chair with a drink in her hands. The room quieted under her command, everyone slowly turning to face her. “First of all, we’d like to thank everyone for coming. William, Sebastian and I,” a quick smile to Sebastian’s father, who stood immediately to her left with his glass raised, “we’d like you all to know you’re all considered family to us. So thank you for offering to spend yet another Christmas in our household.” 

Sebastian’s mother turned to him then, with a smile that could only mean one thing. He was about to be involved in the speech. “I’d like to especially celebrate our only child.” Sebastian rolled his eyes fondly at his mother and gave a wave to everyone who turned to him. “Sebastian has come so far this last year. Not only have his grades improved, but his relationships with others have gotten better. While William and I never had a doubt that Sebastian would grow into a marvelous young man, we’re charmed to see it happening right under our noses. Merry Christmas, all. Cheers.”

Sebastian watched as his mother turned to clink her glass against his father’s before the two of them took a tiny sip. Everyone around the room did the same, some against Sebastian’s with a soft ‘ _ congradulations _ ’ to which Sebastian responded with an aura of politeness. 

What Sebastian’s mother had failed to mention in his speech was that it wasn’t Sebastian who had turned himself into a charming, caring young adult who actively tried in school and didn’t say every word that came to his mind. It was Blaine who had done that. Everyone who was close to Sebastian knew it. Hell, people in the room who had only seen Sebastian for a half second at a party with Blaine knew it. Usually, Sebastian wasn’t one to care about what people thought about him. At Dalton, however.

_ The plan to never tell anyone didn’t go over that well. As it turned out, Hunter was loud in bed and their whole corridor had heard them. News spread relatively quickly throughout Dalton, a community where everyone knew everyone’s business, and by lunch Sebastian felt as though it was all anyone could talk about.  _

_ Walking into the dining hall, Sebastian literally heard someone stage whisper “he’s here.” A quiet fell throughout the group of students eating lunch as Sebastian walked over to the Warbler table with a salad and a cup of coffee. Sebastian rolled his eyes as everyone’s eyes followed his short walk. He stopped halfway through. “Didn’t you guys ever fuck someone? Jesus christ.” This was enough to chastise most people who’d been staring and the noise slowly returned to the room.  However, there were still some eyes that were on his. Including everyone at the Warbler table as he sat down.  _

_ “Dude,” Skylar said as soon as he sat. Sebastian rolled his eyes at what he knew was coming as he took the protective plastic top off of his salad. He stabbed at the lettuce with a plastic fork. It didn’t make him feel any better. “We heard you fucked Hunter.”  _

_ “Has everyone heard that story?” Sebastian asked in exasperation. He took a bite of the salad. It was bland. He had never related to a salad more.  _

_ “Kinda,” Jeff butted in. The blonde was more quiet than Skylar had been, but his eyes were still wide, curious. “It’s kind of the talk of Dalton right now. None of us thought Hunter was gay.” _

_ Skylar scoffed so Sebastian didn’t have to. “Maybe you didn’t think Hunter was gay, Sullivan.” Sebastian shrugged as he took a sip of his coffee in silent agreement with Skylar. Jeff turned red and looked thoroughly chastised. Skylar turned his attention back to Sebastian. “Seriously, dude. We all know your thing with Blaine. That’s what’s got us all shook.” The rest of the Warblers nodded and all attention turned back to Sebastian.  _

_ Sebastian sighed and put his cup down on the table before answering. “What happened with Hunter was nothing. We were both piss drunk and horny out of our minds but I’d never fuck him if I was even one percent sober.” Jeff turned a brighter shade of red at the words. Jesus christ, someone needed to get the boy a subscription to playboy. “It meant nothing.” He took a long sip from his cup and peered over it at Skylar. “I’d prefer this not get back to Blaine. I’ll ensure that doesn’t happen by personally snapping the dick of the person who tells Blaine.” _

_ A chorus of “not me”s rose up from the Warblers. Seemingly satisfied with their answer, they went to talking about what pop song they were going to do for their next a capella arrangement. Only Skylar remained with a gaze at Sebastian. Sebastian shrugged in response. Skylar huffed under his breath before suggesting that they do yet another Katy Perry piece.  _

Sebastian ended his night outside on their balcony. He could hear the party slowly winding down behind him, people thanking his parents for yet another amazing Christmas. Sebastian sat overlooking Westerville, the cold Ohio air bringing a pleasant chill as the alcohol in his glass warmed his bones. 

Suddenly, the deck door opened from behind Sebastian. He didn’t bother to turn around as the person took a seat beside him. Without turning, he managed to see that his mother had joined him, a glass of wine in one hand. She put a hand to Sebastian’s knee. “Sebby,” she said softly. “Is it Blaine?” 

Sebastian huffed out a laugh as he brought the glass to his lips. The alcohol burned his throat, but it was a pleasant sort of burn. Below the balcony, he could see people getting into their cars. Two teenagers laughed together as they walked hand-in-hand along the sidewalk. “Is it that obvious?” 

“You’ve had it written on your face all night, Sebby,” his mother answered. Sebastian shrugged as he continued to watch the scene in front of him. “What’s going on with you two?” 

_ “Sebastian!” Came a voice from behind Sebastian as he walked to his car in the Dalton parking lot. He was on his way to his parents’ house after his last class, fully intending to spend his entire break sleeping, eating, and plotting for how to get Blaine back. “Sebastian!”  _

_ Sebastian spun on his heels to see Blaine quickly making his way towards him. He smiled at the Warbler as Blaine finally caught up with him. “Hey killer,” he greeted his slightly breathless companion. “What’s got you going?”  _

_ Blaine’s smile was as wide as could be when he announced, “I heard about you and Hunter.”  _

_ Sebastian’s own smile dropped. He felt his mouth go dry and his breath died in the back of his throat. “We’re not-”  _

_ Blaine held a hand up to silence him. “It’s okay,” he answered. “You don’t have to keep up your tough guy persona around me. I honestly think it’s adorable that you and Hunter finally admitted your feelings to each other.” He chuckled softly as he added, “I mean, it was only a matter of time anyway.”  _

_ Sebastian knew the silence meant it was his turn to speak, but no sound came out of his mouth. He was kind of thankful for his body’s betrayal, because he wasn’t exactly sure what he would have said anyway. Blaine waved a hand between them dismissively. “Anyway, that was all I wanted to say. Congratulations.” He pressed a kiss to Sebastian’s cheek in a friendly way before calling out “happy holidays!” and leaving Sebastian all by himself in front of his car.  _

Sebastian took a long sip of his drink as he shook his head. “It’s nothing,  _ maman _ .” When he was sure his mother was going to protest, he added. “Nothing I could explain. Nothing you would understand.” 

Sebastian’s mother sighed softly. “Alright,  _ ange _ ,” she said finally. She pat Sebastian’s legs before nodding her head towards the kitchen. “Come on. Help your father and I clean up.” With that, she was gone, back through the doors, to where his father was waiting for the two of them. 

Sebastian took one last look at the street below him. He watched the last of the guests get in their cars, watched them drive away, watched the teenagers continue their slow walk down the sidewalk. He sighed softly at the whole scene. He put his glass down on the table in front of him before walking back into their home to help his parents clean up the remnants of the party.


	13. xiii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's been having dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all!   
> I hope you enjoy this part. I really like writing about dreams for some reason and I think they're good tools in literature for foreshadowing so there's that...  
> I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope it doesn't traumatize you too much.   
> -Seb

New Year's came and went for Sebastian in a blur of parties, talking to people that he didn’t particularly care for, and dodging his parent’s questions about the dark circles under his eyes. Slowly, he started talking to Hunter again and they put the whole sleeping together thing behind them. Sure, now everyone at Dalton thought that they were in a committed gay relationship, but their friendship was too strong to be broken up over something as stupid as that. 

Eventually, winter break was over and all the students returned to Dalton. Things started to go back to normal. Everyone slowly forgot that Sebastian and Hunter had slept together, and there were very few people left who thought they were in a committed gay relationship. 

( _ All except, oddly enough, Blaine, who still thought that Sebastian just didn’t want to reveal their secret relationship in fear that his tough guy persona would be destroyed. _ ) 

However, Sebastian had developed a troubling new symptom to his everlasting Blaine fever, as Hunter liked to call it. Whenever Sebastian would go to bed, he’d be haunted by dreams of Blaine. These dreams were always different. Sometimes, they were beautiful and involved the two of them on some lovely island surrounded by greenery and lakes, where they could kiss freely without fear that someone would catch them and say something offensive towards them, dreams where they ate and laughed and loved freely. Other times, these dreams would take a more sexual route, dreams where they would kiss until they were both breathless, pinned against a wall, shirts gone and lips tracing collarbones and leaving marks, silent reminders that Sebastian had been there. Often, Hunter would end up waking Sebastian from these dreams with the complaint that the noises Sebastian was making during these dreams brought back bad memories and Sebastian would end up taking a two am cold shower or a warm shower with Blaine’s name on his lips. 

These dreams didn’t come as often as the ones that truly kept Sebastian up, though. The dreams that kept him up where nightmares about Blaine. Nightmares where he sang in the background for Blaine’s proposal to Kurt at Dalton, where Kurt cried as Blaine slid a ring onto his finger and they kissed and Sebastian let a silent tear fall even as he clapped in the background and pretended like he was so, so happy for them. Dreams where he attended their wedding, usually featuring Santana and Brittany for some reason, watched as they were promised to each other for life, made eye contact with Blaine’s mother and just knew that she could feel it too, feel that something wasn’t right but when asked if anyone objected, Sebastian found he was unable to open his mouth and he just silently clapped along with the rest of the crowd as he watched the love of his life get promised to someone that wasn’t him. Dreams where he was holding a baby that looked just like Blaine, cute little button-up and curly hair and gorgeous eyes that drew him in, only for Kurt to take the baby with a soft thank you to Sebastian for holding him, watch as Blaine and Kurt cooed over a child that was not his but theirs and remain silent. 

Sometimes, these dreams took a dark turn. Sometimes, they involved Blaine being kidnapped, being held hostage and begging for Sebastian to save him. Sometimes, they involved someone grabbing Blaine from their bed, holding Blaine with a knife to his throat with a dangerous smirk at Sebastian, as if testing him. 

Sebastian had just managed to fall asleep around three in the morning, finally blocking out Hunter’s annoying snoring. Seriously, if Hunter wasn’t his best friend, Sebastian would apply for a new roommate just so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the annoying snoring. 

His sleep had gone dreamless for a while before he was suddenly thrust into one. 

_ Wind from the ocean came as a gentle breeze over them. Sebastian couldn’t remember how they had gotten there, but Blaine was to his right, hanging onto his arm, hair gelled back, sweater vest over a button-up shirt, bowtie in place like Sebastian hadn’t seen in so long. Sebastian was dragging Blaine towards the water, moved by some kind of invisible force. Blaine laughed from Sebastian’s right. “Bas,” he called over the splashing waves. He laughed, a loud, unapologetic laugh that Sebastian hadn’t heard in so long. “Sebastian, it’s freezing!” _

_ “I just thought I would take you to the ocean.” The words left Sebastian’s mouth without his permission. It was like everything happening around him was a movie and he too was an actor, following a script that he himself had not written.  _

_ Blaine laughed again. Sebastian took a second to bathe in the sound, how it wrapped around him and made him feel something he hadn’t felt in so long. “This is awfully romantic of you, Bas.”  _

_ Sebastian smiled wider than he knew was possible. In fact, he was pretty sure that he hadn’t smiled so wide since-since. Suddenly, his brain cut off and he found himself unable to remember whatever event he’d been thinking of. “They call me the master of romance, B.”  _

_ Blaine laughed once more. For some reason, Sebastian had an eerie feeling in his gut that it would be the last he heard. Blaine shook his head and dropped it to the ground below him. “So does this have any purpose?”  _

_ Sebastian took a deep breath. Suddenly, he was hyper aware of the beating of his heart matching the flow of the waves as they crashed against his heart. He knew what was going to happen. “Actually, yes,” Sebastian spoke without deciding to. He took Blaine’s hands in his and stroked over the skin there. Blaine’s hands were smoother and warmer than Hunter’s in Sebastian’s. “B, I know I don’t show it a lot, but you mean a lot to me.” Blaine blushed a deep red and Sebastian felt a lump in his throat and he knew this was it. “And I just wanted to say-”  _

_ Suddenly, Blaine gasped. A large, sudden wave approached them and the both of them were glued to the spot. This time, Sebastian couldn’t move, couldn’t push Blaine out of the way and take his place. He watched in horror as Blaine got pulled over and struggled against the current. He wanted to jump in, he wanted to save him, but could do nothing as he watched Blaine get pulled towards a group of jagged rocks, calling out “Sebastian!”  _

_ “Blaine!” Sebastian called back, unable to move, eyes glued to Blaine as he watched his boyfriend be pulled into a cliff and go under, the water suddenly eerily still.  _

“Sebastian!” Hunter called, shaking Blaine awake. Sebastian jolted up from his rest and gasped with the effort to pull air into his lungs. He looked up at Hunter with wide, scared eyes. “Hey, it’s okay Seb.” Hunter tried to reassure his best friend. He rubbed Sebastian’s shoulders gently, standing over his bed. “Was it about Blaine?” 

Sebastian nodded wordlessly. There was a lump in his throat and he felt like he might explode if he tried to speak. “Hunt, I-” but that was about all the words that came out before he started sobbing hard, clutching tightly to Hunter’s wrist. Hunter sighed softly and took a seat on the end of Sebastian’s bed. He pulled Sebastian close against his chest. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said as Sebastian sobbed against his shirt. He rubbed Sebastian’s back gently and whispered again, “it’ll be okay.” 


	14. xiv

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's January hasn't been going so well for him. When he gets a letter from Dalton, everything comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly so fucking sick of Gone.  
> The good news is that I'm almost done writing it!  
> But seriously never write this much in one month it fucks with your mental health and also your schoolwork.   
> So enjoy this chapter.   
> I enjoy bullying Sebastian.  
> I'm an evil person.  
> -Seb

January passed by in a whirlwind of midterms and homework. The only time he really spoke to Blaine was when they would pass by each other on campus, friendly conversations that Blaine kept up with everyone because that was the kind of person he was. Occasionally, Sebastian would see Blaine with Kurt, laughing together with Blaine hanging off of Kurt’s arm. They were kind of inseparable. It was sometimes too hard for Sebastian to watch. 

Sebastian’s mental health took a major drop into an area of depression. Unable to talk to Blaine, the one person he could tell everything to without fear of being judged, he kept mainly to himself. He wanted so badly to tell Blaine everything, to tell him that they hadn’t been strangers, that there had been a point where Blaine would have known how to grab Sebastian from this funk with one word, that there had been a point where a simple kiss would be enough to melt any of his fear and anxiety about not being good enough, but he couldn’t. Seeing Blaine with Kurt, Sebastian knew that he was happy. And damn, it was hard being the good guy sometimes. 

Hunter tried to help as well as he could, but he had his own life to worry about. Sebastian couldn’t blame him. Between all the homework and midterms and thoughts about where they were gonna go to college, the two boys were busy. Still, Hunter had expressed concern for Sebastian’s wellbeing. Sebastian still had the nightmares about Blaine, leaving him with dark circles under his eyes. He had turned pale from being locked up in their dorm all the time, surrounding himself with homework. His grades were good, but at what cost? Recently, Sebastian had developed a startling new habit where he would forget to eat for long periods of time. Hunter was a good friend in that regard, constantly bringing Sebastian food and reminding him to eat.

Needless to say, January wasn’t his best month. And, by the end, when a letter came to Sebastian’s dorm asking him to apply to Dalton for his senior year, he found that he couldn’t open the envelope. The idea that he might not want to apply to Dalton again came as a startling discovery to Sebastian himself. With shaking hands, he dropped the letter on his bed. Hunter was out, at some kind of party that his parents were hosting that he needed to mingle at it he wanted a good chance of getting into Harvard, so there was only one thing left to do. 

With a shaking hand, he called his mother. She answered within seconds, a soft, “Hello, Sebastian.” Her voice washed over Sebastian like the wave that had washed over him and Blaine so many months previous. However, this wave just washed over him and fell back to shore, surrounding him with the calming half second of nothingness that the water provided.

“ _ Maman _ ,” Sebastian said gently, and  he didn’t doubt that his mother was able to pick up the way his voice cracked on the simple word. “I need you here.” 

Within fifteen minutes, there was a knock at the door. Sebastian straightened his blazer as he stood to answer it. There stood his mother. The thing that had always intrigued Sebastian about his mother was the fact that she never seemed to age to him. Sure, she had more wrinkles now, smile lines from where biology had punished her for happiness, her hair had gone gray from not coloring it for a while, (she had told Sebastian that she felt it was more natural.) Still, Sebastian saw his mother just as he had as a child, as a beautiful young French woman, gorgeous brown hair that was always in a braid as she made Sebastian pastries that they ate together on a patio. 

Of course, Sebastian didn’t know any of this, but his mother felt the same way about him. Even with the way he had grown into an impressive young adult, she still saw her young boy, the toddler full of energy with a brown tuft of hair on his head, constantly singing songs to her or playing on the piano, telling her about the new friends he’d make every few seconds. She loved this man that her boy had grown into, but he’d hardened. He had to, when he moved to America where it seemed everyone was just a little harder than her sweet French boy. There were times when she missed her sweet French boy. 

But then, Sebastian crumbled, falling into her arms and breaking down into sobs and she didn’t have to miss him, because he was right there. 

“ _ Ange _ ,” Sebastian’s mother said in an effort to calm her son. For some reason, Sebastian found himself unable to stop. Now that he had opened a floodgate, everything had come loose. The guard that had been placed in charge of his emotions for so long was now on break, with no chance of coming back any time soon. “ _ Ange _ , let’s sit.”

Sebastian sat on his bed and his mother sat down next to him. He leaned his head against her chest before breaking into more tears. His mother ran a hand through his hair comfortingly. “What’s wrong,  _ mon amour _ ?” she asked softly, cautiously. Sebastian didn’t reply and instead shoved the dreaded envelope, simply and dangerously labeled ‘ _ apply to Dalton Academy _ ’ with his name in bold letters. “Don’t worry about this, love. Your father and I will apply for you if you’d like. There’s no need for you to even look at it. You can just enjoy your senior year.” 

“That’s the thing, maman,” Sebastian said softly. He lifted his head to look his mother in the eyes. “What if I don’t want to be at Dalton for my senior year?” 

Sebastian’s mother looked perplexed as she put the letter down on his bed sheets. “Where would you want to go for your senior year,  _ mon beau _ ?”

“McKinley,” Sebastian answered softly. Just the simple word leaving his lips felt like betrayal to his throat. Dalton was his home, the Warblers his brothers, but everything was just a little too much and the reminder that he would have to do it for a whole other year was the icing on the cake piled just too high. 

“McKinley,” Sebastian’s mother scoffed, laughing as if the idea was ridiculous to her. Sebastian could understand where she was coming from. His father had been a student at Dalton, his great grandfather a Warbler in one of their original years. It was his legacy to be in this building, to have a part in one of the most prestigious a capella groups Ohio had to offer. 

“I know, _ maman _ ,” Sebastian answered softly. “I just-” he sighed. How was he supposed to explain the mess that was left in his brain? How was he supposed to explain everything he’d been through, how was he supposed to explain not remembering to eat and throwing himself too far into his work and not being able to sleep because his dreams were haunted by a boy who used to be a simple press of the fingertips apart. “I can’t be at Dalton anymore.” 

“Why not, _ bébé _ ?” Sebastian’s mother asked. She picked up the letter and sighed at it, as if the envelope alone would be enough to make her understand Sebastian’s sudden desire to transfer from a school packed with so much history for him? The idea of history very suddenly clicked in her mind and she looked over at him. “Is it because of Blaine?”

Sebastian felt his lip quiver. “I-I can’t do it, ma!” Like a petulant child, he pounded his fists against his bedsheets, refusing to let the tears that held themselves at the corner of his eyes to fall. “I can’t! I see him with Kurt and it hurts!” Without his permission, the tears started flowing freely and his voice shook with the effort of it all.  “It hurts so much, mama! It feels like someone is stabbing me!” He took his mother’s hand in his, balled their combined hands in a fist, and let it fall across his chest, right over his heart. Sebastian’s mother freed her hand and instead let it rest against his heart. Sebastian took both of his hands and grabbed at her wrist like a lifeline, clutching it close to his chest as he fell against hers, sobbing in a way that he would have never done in front of anyone else. 

“It’s okay, Sebastian,” His mother tried to reassure him. She ran a gentle hand through his hair, letting her fingernails gently scrape at the skin there to ground him, remind him that she was there for him. “I know it doesn’t seem likely, but you’ll get over Blaine. He was your first boyfriend,  _ mon amour _ . It gets better.”

“I love him,  _ maman _ ,” Sebastian said softly. He didn’t miss the way his mother’s breath audibly hitched. He didn’t blame her, it was the first time he’d ever told anyone how he felt about his ex boyfriend. The more he thought about it, the more the whole thing seemed like a shitty tragedy. “He’s the one for me. He’s the love of my life.”

“Oh, _ mon bébé _ ,” she answered simply, pulling him into another hug. The tears had stopped, Sebastian wasn’t a person who was prone to crying for long periods of time, but he still lay his head against his mother’s chest, suddenly drained and exhausted. “I understand, really I do.” Sebastian didn’t think there was any way that she could have possibly begun to understand, but he appreciated the sentiment. “However,” she paused, let the word linger uncomfortably between them. “McKinley?” She asked softly. “Do you really think that’s the best thing?” 

“I don’t know,” Sebastian answered honestly. “I don’t know what the best thing to do anymore is. All I know is that I can’t keep living like this.” His voice quieted as he added, “I’m not living like this.” 

And then suddenly, he was just like that little scared French boy again in his mother’s arms, afraid of ghosts that lived in his closet and monsters under his bed, except this time, she couldn’t just look under his bed to reassure him that it was all going to be okay, she couldn’t give him a glass of warm milk and put him back to bed. He was a grown-up now. He had to make his own grown-up decisions. 

“Okay,” was all she said, but somehow Sebastian understood as he visibly relaxed in her arms. She took a second to mentally consider what was going to happen before nodding. “Yeah, okay.” 

She took the letter from Dalton and ripped it in half.


	15. xv.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian overhears something interesting at lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> So exciting news,  
> This chapter is kind of like the prequel to the last,  
> Which is coming next!   
> I really think you guys are gonna enjoy the ending (and the epilogue) as much as I did! No spoilers...yet!  
> I'm in the process of writing an added scene which will be posted after the epilogue to my account as a separate story. I think it'll answer some unanswered questions.   
> (But I'm nearly done writing. Whoo!)   
> Let me know what you think!  
> -Seb

Eating lunch on campus was something that Sebastian had found himself doing more and more since the accident. Before, on their combined lunch break, Sebastian and Blaine would leave Dalton for an hour to sit in a coffee shop or a park with a lunch that Blaine had prepared with enough food for the two of them, or even just to sit in Lima Bean sharing a piece of cake and laughing over two cups of hot coffee. 

He had tried taking Hunter, but it wasn’t the same. Hunter mainly went to stare at girls that he deemed pretty, which was about as creepy as it was sad. Not to mention every time he managed to get one of these girl’s numbers and Sebastian would watch from a distance, he would watch them giggle softly and kiss each other’s cheeks, and the hobbit sized hole in his heart shaped suspiciously like Blaine would grow even larger. 

Needless to say, he’d been eating on campus more lately. 

Sebastian bought himself a salad from the one salad kiosk at Dalton and looked around the cafeteria. A group of Warblers waved him over, but he shook them off with a soft smile and a wave of his hand. Usually, he’d be right in the middle of a group of Warblers, but he knew they’d heard about him transferring when the school year was over, and he really wasn’t in the mood to share his Blaine sob story. 

Sebastian instead took a seat off to the side, with a table surrounded by four chairs instead of the seemingly endless usual cafeteria tables. These tables were reserved mostly for seniors, but with a quick glare Sebastian was able to scare off most of them. However, as luck would have it, there were footsteps approaching the table behind him. He didn’t even have to turn to look who it was, the quick wiff of cologne he was suddenly hit with as the figures sat told him exactly who it was. 

“I couldn’t even believe it,” came the high, breathy voice of Kurt Hummel from far behind Sebastian, presumably across the table for his counterpart. “I could not even believe he would go so far as to give me a D when I spent so much time on the paper.” 

A snort from the person who sat across from Kurt, a laugh as a package was open. Then, an answer. “Perhaps his cruel world isn’t yet suited for a research paper on what type of fabric you consider best, darling.” It was Blaine’s voice, happy and cheerful as ever as he opened whatever he had bought for lunch. Somewhere in his mind, Sebastian wondered if he’d brought enough food for the two of them. He wondered if Kurt and Blaine shared food the same way he and Blaine once had. The thought alone made him sick. 

“Clearly,” Kurt answered. Then, his voice took on a more flirtatious tune that made Sebastian’s stomach tie up in knots. “So. It’s almost Valentine’s Day.” Sebastian uncapped his salad and stabbed violently at a piece of lettuce. He was inclined to pretend the lettuce was Kurt Hummel himself. “Are our plans still on?” 

“For sure,” Blaine answered almost immediately. Sebastian could have sworn he’d heard Blaine’s voice turned the way it did when Sebastian embarrassed him about something. He nearly laughed out loud at the idea of what baby penguin Kurt’s sexy Valentine’s plans were. “I’ve been waiting for weeks.” 

“Me too,” Kurt answered with the same eagerness. A shift from the table, Sebastian turned momentarily to see there were now holding hands above the table. The sight was almost sickeningly sweet. “I’m just so happy that I get to share my first time with you.” 

Sebastian suddenly felt his head swimming. Had he heard them right? Had Kurt said that he and Blaine were going to share what was evidently Kurt’s first time, what Blaine thought was his first time, with each other? Was Kurt going to take something as sacred as the first time Blaine would spend touching someone else’s body, with someone else touching him so recently, from him? Sebastian felt like he was suddenly thrust underwater, the walls were closing in and he knew that he had to get out immediately. He took his salad, still completely full, and dropped it in the garbage before walking, actually, probably running, out of the cafeteria. From behind, he could vaguely hear the ends of Kurt and Blaine’s conversation.

(“What’s wrong with him?” Blaine had asked. 

“Nothing,” Kurt had replied. “He’s just weird. No one really understands him.) 

Sebastian ran out into the hallway, sparsely populated with some students at their lockers. They turned to give Sebastian odd looks, but he found that he could honestly care less. His head still felt like it was spinning and he had no idea what to do with himself and the new information he’d recently been granted by a god that must have really fucking hated him.

Kurt was going to sleep with Blaine. He was going to take Blaine’s first time with another guy, something that Sebastian had previously shared with him in an experience that was so beautiful that Blaine sobbed for a full twenty minutes, and rip it out from under him. Never in his life had Sebastian experienced such disdain for one person. How could Kurt do that to him? How could Kurt do that to Blaine? 

But then, Sebastian thought back to moments ago, to hearing them talk. Blaine had sounded so happy with Kurt. He sounded excited about this, about sharing this experience with someone he-with someone he loved? The thought made Sebastian sick, but he knew that face. Blaine was excited about sharing the experience with someone he loved. And who was Sebastian to take something like that and rip it out from under him?

“Fuck,” Sebastian swore under his breath. He pounded his fist against his locker, gaining a glare from some of the students who were scattered down the hallway. He let his head drop against the door of his locker and the rest of his body soon followed, until he was pressed up against the locker. He shook his head but refused to cry in front of all these people. With a resound sigh, he gathered himself together and walked back to the cafeteria to maintain at least some face. 

When did he become the good guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s: i'm not entirely sure when 1K words became a short amount for me...


	16. xvi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's day rolls around and Blaine asks Sebastian for some help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm done!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy the last chapter of Gone! There will be an epilogue up shortly, and as soon as I post that, I will post a bonus scene on my account! It involves what happens immediately following the events of Gone. No spoilers! Yet...
> 
> Let me know what you guys think!

Sebastian’s Valentine’s Day started out unlike most Valentine’s days. In the past few years, his Valentine’s days had been wrapped around Blaine, doing things just to make his boyfriend smile, buying him abnormally large teddy bears or a box full of chocolates (that, admittedly, Sebastian would eat most of) or playing music that he knew Blaine loved. Valentine’s days before that had been spent at Scandals, wrapped up in another faceless no-name twink he believed that he had finally found real love drowning in vodka tonics and the red lights that Scandals haphazardly put up. He had gotten a pretty good routine of picking up lonely guys at a bar doing that, and had taken to calling Valentine’s day “Drifter’s Christmas,” full of no strings attached sex that other boys cried during. But Blaine had changed all that with his teddy bears and chocolates and horrible pop music and sex that made even Sebastian shed a tear (though he’d never admit it.)

But this Valentine’s Day started out so unlike any of those. For one, it was a Friday which meant he had to go through classes at Dalton. But all throughout his classes, he had no one to text, no one to send dirty things to in hope of getting a blushing emoji back, no one to pester him to go back to class, no professors asking him to get off his phone, asking if he’d care to share with the rest of the class. He’d turned quite a few professors red with his texts. However, all day he sat in class textless, his fingers tapping against his phone reflexively as he moved from class to class.  

When he finally got back to his dorm, he found Hunter had beat him there. Hunter was wearing what he called his “getting laid” outfit and what Sebastian called the “look at me, I’m a douchebag” ensemble. It consisted of a button-up that was for some reason mainly buttoned down, a pair of jeans that were just tight enough to look awkward but not so tight that his butt looked good, and a pair of cowboy boots that he had picked up from a thrift store and called “vintage.” Sebastian honestly had no idea why he was friends with Hunter sometimes. 

“Hey,” Hunter greeted when Sebastian walked in. Sebastian offered him a disinterested nod in lieu of greeting. He threw his backpack on the floor beside his bed before collapsing onto the aforementioned bag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. Hunter gave him a perplexed look. “Are you coming out for my Valentine’s day hunt?” 

Sebastian moved his arm from his eyes and tilted his head so that he could glare sideways at Hunter. “Are you honestly calling it a hunt now?” 

“Yep,” Hunter answered. He chuckled as he walked slowly towards Sebastian, his head tucked to his chest as he swayed back and forth as a mock to an animal. “And I am the hunter, looking for wild, lonely, sad females who just want a good dick.” Sebastian rolled his eyes fondly and dropped his arm over his eyes again. Hunter straightened out and gave Sebastian’s shoulder a shove. “Come on, Seb, it’ll be fun. Get laid. Live a little. You can’t spend your whole live obsessing over Blaine.” 

Sebastian wanted to snap that he wasn’t obsessing over Blaine, but that would have just proven Hunter’s point. “I’m fine,” he answered instead. Though he couldn’t see him, Sebastian could feel Hunter’s raised eyebrow and look of disappointment. “I’ve got a biology paper to write.” Still no reply from Hunter. Sebastian lifted his arm from his eyes and tried to give Hunter the most convincing look he could muster while being alone on a day that was literally meant for people who were in love. “Honestly, Hunt, I’m fine. Have fun getting laid. Don’t worry about me.”

“Alright,” Hunter said, though he still didn’t sound convinced. He looked back in the mirror and fixed his shirt before turning back to Sebastian. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” He winked before adding, “Don’t wait up.” With that, he was out the door before Sebastian could even get out ‘wasn’t planning on it.’ 

As if on cue, Sebastian’s phone chimed with a notification. Sebastian sighed and picked it up, fully intending to ignore whoever was intending to spoil his pity party of loneliness when he saw that it was Blaine. 

_ Blaine 5:43pm _ _   
_ _ Sebastian are you doing anything? I’m having a fashion crisis and I could use someone’s advice.  _

Sebastian read the text over and sighed loudly, solely to add to his pity party. Apparently, there’d come a point where he’d gone from losing his boyfriend to Kurt Hummel to becoming his boyfriend’s gay fashion assistant friend. He wasn’t entirely sure where he’d gone wrong there. However, there would never be a time when he could say no to anything Blaine wanted. Even if that something was fashion advice about what would make him attractive to Hummel. 

_ Sebastian 5:45pm _ _   
_ _ not doing anything atm. feel free to drop by for free advice _

Sebastian sent the text and then sat up in his bed. He fixed his clothes and his hair before busying himself with the biology paper that he did actually have to write in order to continue passing the class. He barely got more than one sentence done before there was a knock at the door. He put his laptop aside with a mental note to finish the essay about twenty minutes before it was done before he pulled open the door, revealing a very tense looking Blaine Anderson.

“Sebastian, thank god for you,” Blaine said in lieu of an introduction, instead just walking into Sebastian’s dorm in a way that was very un-Blaine like. Sebastian could tell that he was obviously stressed about something. In times of stress, Blaine tended to forget all of his polite mannerisms. “I’m going on a date with Kurt in about an hour and my outfit is off.” 

He was dressed in a very Blaine-like outfit, a blue sweater pulled over a white button-up, bright blue chinos that hugged his legs tightly, a pair of black dress shoes on his feet. His hair was slicked back in a way it hadn’t been in a while, but that suited him. He sighed as he stepped in front of the mirror Sebastian had in his room. “I don’t know,” he said, turning back to Sebastian. The Warbler could tell he wasn’t pleased. “Doesn’t it seem off to you?” 

Something about Blaine’s look had been off to Sebastian ever since the accident, but he just hadn’t wanted to say anything. He knew it was childish, but he didn’t want to give up something only he probably noticed about Blaine to someone else, to have someone else, Kurt, notice this thing about him, to have it maybe become their thing. Watching Blaine stand there in the mirror, Sebastian knew it was stupid. He had already lost. They didn’t have a thing anymore because their thing was done. Blaine was Kurt’s now. He’d heard them talking, in the dining room, he knew tonight was going to be the night that Kurt was going to lose his virginity to Blaine and Blaine was going to lose what he assumed to be his virginity to Blaine. Sebastian had lost. It seemed almost foolish to hold onto this one last thing.

“I know what it is,” Sebastian said softly. He reached under his bed for what Blaine had left the last time he’d been there before the accident. It’d been in a hurried rush to get their clothes off that the simple piece of cloth, a dark blue bowtie, had gone flying under Sebastian’s bed. Sebastian had only found it under the accident, but found himself unwilling to move it. Now, he picked it up and walked back to Blaine.

Blaine eyed up the bowtie with a bit of disinterest. Sebastian didn’t let that stop him. “Here,” he said as he moved behind Blaine, their eyes locking in the mirror. “Let me.” He pushed Blaine’s collar up before working the bowtie around his neck. He tied it and straighten it before straightening Blaine’s collar again. “There,” he said, his hands lingering still on the collar of his shirt. 

Blaine’s breath hitched as soon as the bowtie was tied, suddenly reverently quiet. Just as Sebastian’s hand went to retreat, he grabbed it, still staring at Sebastian in the mirror as he held Sebastian’s hand against his collar. Sebastian dare not speak, suddenly finding himself in the same spell as Blaine. 

Blaine was the one to break the silence spell as he suddenly spoke. “Bas,” he said simply, softly, a nickname that hadn’t been used since before the accident. Blaine finally broke from their mirror staring contest, his eyes falling shut as a smile fell to his face and he leaned back into Sebastian’s grip. His other hand came to join the one holding Sebastian firmly to his shoulder and his hands squeezed Sebastian’s firmly as he repeated, “Bas, oh god.” 

“B,” was all Sebastian said in reply, afraid to do anything that was going to break Blaine out of whatever spell he had managed to fall into. Blaine opened his eyes and turned to Sebastian, the same big, goofy smile on his face. From this angle, Sebastian could see tears had fallen from Blaine’s eyes, but before he could comment on it, Blaine was pulling him into a kiss. The kiss was kind of wet because of the tears falling from Blaine’s eyes, but Sebastian could care less. It was perfect, everything he had been craving, so full of love and want.

When Blaine pulled back, he left breathlessly. He grabbed the hand Sebastian had put to his cheek and simply whispered, “I remember you.”


	17. Epilouge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the future and Sebastian and Blaine are getting married. Sebastian looks back on how they got there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! It's all done!  
> What a bittersweet moment y'all. Except for the fact that I wrote bonus content!  
> (I care too much about this 'verse.)   
> You can click down below at part two, or click [this link](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7643458) to read the bonus content! It's what happens immediately following Blaine remembering Sebastian.   
> Alsooo I was convinced by one of you guys on Tumblr to participate in Seblaine week this year and I am! Make sure you follow my new seblaine writing blog [here](http://www.sebandersmythee.tumblr.com) to see that!   
> (And if you ask there for something specific, I might just add to the Gone verse. Might.)   
> Thank you all for joining me on this journey. I hope you've enjoyed reading Gone as much as I've enjoyed writing it.   
> Much love,  
> Seb.

“Just a few last touches!” Rachel called as she touched Sebastian’s hair once again. Honestly, Sebastian had no idea why Blaine had thought it was a good idea to have Rachel plan their wedding instead of the wedding planner his mom had offered to them in a state of extreme glee when she heard that Sebastian was marrying an Anderson, but it was a mistake. Sebastian had been freaking out for the better part of the whole day and Rachel constantly touching his hair was not good for that.

“It’s fine, Rachel,” Sebastian assured the NYADA student as she worked on moving his hair in another direction to see if  _ ‘maybe it would look better’ _ . Sebastian wasn’t entirely sure how many directions his hair could be moved in, but he was about two inches away from slapping her in the face. While this seemed like a brilliant idea, a voice that sounded oddly like Blaine’s disagreed. It was then that he remembered something Rachel had been ranting about. “Hey, Rach,” he started conversationally. Rachel just hummed in question as she moved his hair to yet another side. “Didn’t you say the cake you ordered should be getting here shortly?”

“Oh!” Rachel answered instead of actually answering. She dropped Sebastian’s hair back onto his head like it was on fire before quickly making her way out of the backroom, screaming to some poor delivery man who had no idea what he was in for. Sebastian chuckled softly at her before looking in the mirror. He fixed his hair for real (he was sure Rachel would mess with it yet again when she returned) and straightened his jacket. He looked at himself in the mirror and tried saying, “I’m getting married.” 

The phrase felt so foreign on Sebastian’s tongue. From the time he was ten, when he had first figured out that he didn’t like girls the same way other French boys did, Sebastian knew marriage wasn’t for people like him. He thought marriage, garbage, soulmates, all that shit was for straight people. Boys who liked boys didn’t do monogamy, they did the underground BDSM clubs in Paris that Sebastian’s mother shielded his eyes from when they passed by. 

When his dad moved them to Ohio for work, things only got worse. Here in Ohio, he learned that not only was marriage reserved for straight people, it was reserved for the straight boys in his class that spoke perfect English and called Sebastian a “French freak” when he told them in a mixture of broken English and perfect French which impressed no one that he liked their shirts. 

Sebastian learned to toughen up in this environment. As fucked up as it sounds, Scandals became his home. Sneaking in at age thirteen had been shockingly easy, and when he walked inside for the first time, well, to say he’d been blown away had been an understatement. He’d never seen so many gay men in such a small space, had never seen them love and be loved so freely. He’d been accepted by these people, they’d helped him learn English well enough to tell twinks his age (and maybe a little older) to get on their knees. As beautiful as Blaine’s plan at age seventeen to lose his virginity to someone special was, Sebastian had known it was bullshit. He’d lost his virginity half drunk against a bathroom stall at two in the morning to a man who called him  _ Bill _ instead of  _ Bas _ and hey, close enough, right?

Monogamy was not for people like him. Monogamy was for straight boys in his class who spoke perfect English. Monogamy was for successful gay guys who’d had supportive parents instead of parents that were rich and raised to be rich. Monogamy was for boys like Blaine, boys who respected themselves and had dreams of Disney perfect marriages, regardless for gender. Monogamy and marriage was not for boys who spoke a mixture of French and broken English, was not for boys who lost their virginity to a stranger who called them Bill, was not for boys like Sebastian was. As Sebastian reached out to touch his reflection in the mirror, he could hardly believe that marriage was for someone like him.

“Knock knock,” came a voice from the doorway, breaking Sebastian out of his thoughts. Sebastian whipped around in a way that would have been comical to the outside observer. There stood Blaine, his gorgeous fiancé and soon to be husband, dressed in a simple white tux with a black bowtie to match. His hair was gelled back on his head and his eyes were warm and calm. “Hey Bas,” he greeted softly. 

Sebastian’s mind whirled with a million things that he could possibly say to Blaine at the current moment. For some reason, his mind decided on, “Rachel would kill you if she knew you were here.” Sebastian knew how stupid it sounded as soon as it left his lips. 

Fortunately for Sebastian, Blaine just chuckled fondly. “I know,” Blaine answered as he stepped further into the room, letting the door fall shut behind him. “I just couldn’t help myself. You were thinking so loudly that I heard it a room away.” 

Blaine had said that to Sebastian a few times, and it had never quite made sense. Blaine said that Sebastian wore his heart on his sleeve when you got to know him and that it was easy to see when he was sad, but there would be times when Blaine would know Sebastian was sad without even being in the same room as him, sending him sweet texts or bouquets of flowers or boxes of chocolates to try and cheer him up. Sometimes, Sebastian thought he wouldn’t be surprised if Blaine could actually read his mind.

Blaine crossed the room and gathered Sebastian into his arms. His hand went under Sebastian’s jacket and traced patterns into his back over his shirt. Sebastian nearly melted under Blaine’s touch. He knew it sounded gross and cheesy, but Blaine’s touch and the warmth that came with it was enough to almost instantly calm him. “What’s going on, Sebastian?” Blaine asked softly. 

Sebastian didn’t answer right away, unsure how to put into words everything he’d been feeling all day. How could he possibly begin to explain why monogamy wasn’t made for people like him, the boy that had laughed at him and called him a French freak when he was thirteen and told the boy that he liked his shirt in a mixture of English and the perfect French that impressed no one, how he knew that his parents were disappointed in him by the way their voice dropped when colleagues asked them about their gay son Sebastian, how he lost his virginity to a man in a bathroom who called him Bill and Blaine had never had any of this because monogamy was meant for him, how could he possibly understand when he was the perfect candidate for monogamy? 

Fortunately, Sebastian didn’t have to try to voice any of this as Blaine seemed to understand. He turned Sebastian towards the mirror and wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s waist. Sebastian looked at himself in the mirror and couldn’t understand why Blaine would want to spend the rest of his forever with him. “Can’t believe it, huh?” Blaine asked softly and, yeah, that was one way to put it. Sebastian shook his head gently. “Me neither. I never thought this day would come.” 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at that. “You didn’t?” he asked. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t keep the slimmer of insecurity from his voice. He chuckled softly, a teasing intonation to his voice to bring it back in his favor. “I thought you were all about those Disney perfect weddings.” 

Blaine himself laughed at that and pulled Sebastian tighter against his body. Sebastian could feel the heat radiating off of his body. If he was a horny seventeen year old, this way have turned him on, but for the time being, it just served as a positive reminder. Blaine was there. He wasn’t leaving. He was right there. “Disney fairytale?” Blaine reiterated. “Nah. I knew that my parent’s Catholic idea of marriage wasn’t for people like me.” His voice quieted a bit as he said his next sentence, “I never even thought I’d be married.” 

“But you’re the perfect candidate to be married,” Sebastian blurted suddenly, without even thinking about it. It seemed once he opened his mouth, he was unable to shut it again as he just continued to talk. “I mean, you’re so polite and proper. Everyone you meet falls in love with you, without fail. You have this aura about you.” His voice went quiet as he went on. “Sometimes I can’t believe you chose me. The Scandals slut.” 

“Oh Bas,” Blaine said softly. “So that’s what’s going through your head.” He sighed softly, his hands tracing Sebastian’s sides under his jacket, warming every area of skin that they came in contact with. The effect was oddly calming and Sebastian leaned into it without really thinking. “Look at me,” Blaine commanded softly. Sebastian met his eyes through the mirror. Blaine’s eyes were warm and soft, caring and concerned at the same time. “Your past doesn’t matter, Sebastian. All that matters i that we found each other.” 

Finally looking at Blaine and not at himself, Sebastian understood what Blaine was getting at. His past didn’t matter because that wasn’t right now. The boy that laughed at him and called him a French freak when he told him he had a nice shirt in a mixture of broken English and perfect French didn’t matter because Blaine was always there when Sebastian was in the middle of heated ranting and forgot the English word for something, found Sebastian’s French beautiful instead of disgusting and freakish, as everyone in the past had. His parents didn’t matter when their voice dropped as they spoke about their gay son Sebastian because of the way Blaine’s eyes lit up and his voice grew fond as he talked about his amazing boyfriend, fiancé, husband Sebastian. The man he lost his virginity to in a Scandals bathroom at two in the morning with one too many drinks in him who called him Bill instead of Bas didn’t matter because every time with Blaine felt like a mixture of the first and the hundreth, and the sparks that Sebastian would get with orgasms given to him by these bathroom hookups were nothing compared to the fireworks he got with Blaine that lit him up from the inside and lasted for  _ days _ . Looking into Blaine’s eyes, Sebastian realized exactly who monogamy was made for. And he was right, it wasn’t made for him. It was made for them. 

Smiling a real smile for the first time that day, Sebastian grabbed Blaine’s hand. He ran his hands across the knuckles there before again meeting Blaine’s eyes in the mirror. And simple as that he broke out in a grin because, “we’re getting married.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, follow me [here](http://www.sebandersmythee.tumblr.com) to see my works for seblaine week this year!

**Author's Note:**

> [Follow me on Tumblr!](http://www.theaterkidlester.tumblr.com)


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